Getting the legal part over with then having another wedding later?

I personally think this is a good idea depending on the situation. My fiancee and I are going to Aruba to get married because I've always dreamed of having a beach wedding. After thinking about the paper work we decided to get "legally" married in our home country first before going away...I did not have my marriage certificate to be in another language and thought it may cause problems down the road with the language barrier.

We did the legal paperwork here at home with 2 witnesses and we are having a ceremony in Aruba with all our friends and family and I do not think it's fake at all. A wedding is not about where you sign the papers, it's about professing your love for one another in front of your closest friends and family.

If you throw a birthday party for a child and it's not their "actual" birthday, it doesn't mean it's a FAKE party. It's about when you put everything together, get dressed up, say your vows and celebrate.

I personally see nothing wrong with signing the paperwork on a different day.

It's called a "commitment ceremony." A lot of same-sex couples partake in such events because same-sex marriage is not recognized throughout the US (despite the constitution requiring recognition from one state to another). I said all that to say this - you are a straight couple who want to publicly commit your love to each other. And that's a good thing. Normally I don't condone do-over weddings. There are, however, exceptions to every rule - and your medical condition (and the associated costs) is just such an exception. Since this is not a "legally binding wedding" you don't need a licensed officiate. Moreover, seeing that your families and friends are aware of the circumstances - and more importantly, approve of your plans; how about asking one or more of the elders of either or both families play the part of the leaders in the ceremony? They can bless your pledge and, although they cannot pronounce you husband and wife, they can certainly present you as the happy couple. And of course, once you have real medical benefits again, you can have your union officially sanctioned at the courthouse. Best of luck and I hope your medical issues are resolved in the not so distant future.

...and you don't think there's any hassle and stress over putting together a fake wedding??? The ONLY difference is the bride and groom are husband and wife already and are going thru the motions just for the 'experience'...all the excitement that comes with being a REAL bride will not be there and it still does not prevent any problems from occuring....I think it's just an excuse to have two weddings and that is very self indulgent.

When I go to a wedding, I want to see a REAL bride and the REAL ceremony, not a pretend bride and a fake wedding ceremony done just for the 'experience'....and if the guests are not told it's a pretend wedding and they find out later...the deception pisses them off. It costs me good money to attend a wedding so I want my money's worth by seeing the real deal and watching a self indulgent married woman play pretty princess bride is not worth spending my money and time on.

On top of that it devalues the sacredness of the marriage vows and treats them as if it's no more special than a birthday party or a prom.....no thank you. I do not attend fake weddings.

I thought about doing that. Me and my fiance don't have a whole lot of money, so I thought that we could get married in court, and then on our 1 year (or 2 year even) anniversary after we had cut our bills in half and had saved more money we would have an actual ceremony, (in which the vows would read "i STILL do" instead of "I DO") but apparently my man had been in a wedding that the couple did that and he said never again. so now we're just doing it simple and beautiful. but enough about us. I personally like the idea. however, keep in mind that if you are just going to go down to the courthouse, you might want to at least bring your parents, brothers, and sisters with you. they will want to be there. up to you.

In many countries that is the way ALL couples do it.

Church weddings are not recognized in many parts of the western world, particularly France, Germany, Japan, and Turkey.

For couples that want to get married in a church, they always have to get married in a civil ceremony first and have their church weddings at a later date.

In the U.S. church weddings are recognized as legal weddings. As such, a lot of people in this forum, think that their way of doing things is the only way of doing things. It is your wedding, you can do it any way you want. I wouldn't want most the judgmental people in this forum within 100 miles of my wedding.

This is stupid, immature and down right ridiculous. You get one wedding day. Be mature enough to have your wedding and be done with it. This nonsense about not being nervous and stressed for a fake do over wedding is insane.

I cried too much at my father's funeral and my mascara ran down my face. I want a do over so I am not so emotional this time and since I got waterproof mascara, I won't be concerned about the make up smears. Everyone come with clothes pins on their noses, please. (idea taken from another poster: The Original Garnet Glitter)

JEEEZ, why are people so judgmental. We got married just us two up in the mountains because we simply can't afford to pay for everyone to come to a wedding right now. No matter how cheap. Our families live in all different states, as do our friends. My friends were very judgmental of our choice. I don't understand why they care so much. It isn't their life, I think that they are just stuck on what they did so if you do anything less it isn't good enough by their standards. I say get the legal part over with and gather everyone a year later to celebrate with you your first year anniversary and renewing of the vows.

I think it's childish and I can't believe any woman of marrying age actually thinks this is a good idea. I think you'll be surprised that a lot of people won't want to play pretend with you.

ps: The legal part IS the wedding. The two are inseparable.

How is doing a fake wedding later less stressful and avoiding the "hassle"? Once you are married, you can not have another wedding later. It's a complete sham. I understand there are extenuating circumstances but over all in most situations, it's still a sham wedding and extremely tacky.

Nothing wrong with that. My wife and I got married in a private ceremony in the Caribbean, just us two. The following summer we had a quick ceremony and reception for friends and family .