need a mans advice about what in his head?

i'm 'in'? a relationship w a man that i love and who i know loves me. we've been together 9 months engaged for 3. he exploded one evening on our way to a concert and we didn't go. he demanded his ring and his things and moved out. he's done this once before. he came back but the second time i told him we needed to go to counseling if we were to continue. he didn't go. but we continued talking about aspects of our relationship and are in agreement that we both have issues. i asked him what he wants to do...I told him engagement and living together was too soon, but i want a relationship anyway because we do have mutual love and our differences aren't a big issue, just need to make compromises,love each other and 'stop throwing out the baby w the bathwater.' he says he has to think. we are both in our 40s and not kids. I'm ok waiting, i guess. but what is he really doing? is this a slow fade blow off? how can i know for sure? any suggestions?