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can anybody give me feedback on-----Hands?
Worn and callused hands
reach for another brick,
turn it over,
butter it with cement,
then set it in place
with a light tap from the trowel.
Then reach for another.
Brick beside brick beside brick.
Row upon row upon row.
'til the sun on the horizon sets.
Opening home's door
his ears hear
the scramble of little feet,
and the squeals of "Daddy's home!"
After hugs and kisses,
the worn and callused hands
gently stroke
the soft and tender cheek
of his treasure
knowing it's been a bargain.
2 Answers
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
It's so soulfully written that I feel I should apologize to you to have almost missed your gem. Thanks God, I chanced upon it.
You made me have a memory trip to uncomplicated days of childhood. The ambling flow of words, the easy cadence, the elegant restraint in expression : all add up to a brilliant structure.
Thank you for sharing such a superb poetic treat.
Do write more.
Please.
- Anonymous9 years ago
sweet... bricklaying is tedious,
and your poem is good it shows a fathers love.
if you could enlighten me on why you are blocked I will unblock you, It makes little sense to me at the moment so please give me a reason.