Wedding etiquette. Daughter 26 getting married.?

Traditionally, yes, the bride's family pays.

However, since both the bride and groom are independent adults and we're in the 21st century, you have options. It is perfectly acceptable to draft a budget together. A few options: one, they pay for their own wedding; or everyone pays in thirds (one third from you, one third from the couple, one third from the groom's parents); or you and the groom's parents can simply tell the couple how much each of you is able to contribute. As long as the conversation is honest, matter-of-fact and handled graciously, you should be able to make even Emily Post proud.

I think the fact that they're already married changes things more than just a little bit. They elected, on their own, to get married without waiting for a proper ceremony and reception. If they now still expect everyone to pony up for the cost of the party and for wedding gifts, that doesn't seem right.

I think it would be appropriate for you to offer a contribution roughly equal to what you would have paid for a modest wedding to help defer the cost of their party, but let them take it from there and be responsible for financing the rest of it themselves. They are already married, so it's now their party, not yours.

No one should have to pay for anything since they can't get married again when they are already married. If they are still going to go through with this ridiculous "wedding", they should pay for it themselves.

I sure wouldn't be a part of a do over wedding. People will think they are morons. Tell them they are on their own. Save your money for you retirement, because you are not supposed to finance a stupid thing like this.

Congrats. I would have a heart to heart with your daughter. If she is already married then she doesnt need a big wedding AND you do not have to pay for her wedding. I would tell her that you are proud of her and her husband and that since they both make more money than you do that you think it would be best that they pay for their own reception, since they are already married and make more money than you.

OR offer to pay for her wedding dress and that is it. If she is a mature adult then she should understand. Just tell her it makes more sense for her to pay for her own wedding since she is MARRIED and makes more money...case closed.

Tradition goes out the window once the couple is ALREADY married. You do NOT have to pay for her wedding...especially if you paid for her education and she makes more than you. She and her husband should be happy to pay for their own wedding!

They are ALREADY married! There can be a reception, as lavish as everybody seems to want, but going through a re-enactment, with a billowy white gown, bridesmaids, the Wedding March, and all the other hoopla, would be – "inappropriate" is the nicest word I can think of.

Now for the question of "Who should pay for this extravaganza?"

The "newly-married" couple should be the ones to foot the bill. If you are feeling generous, you could offer to pay for one item on their agenda, such as the dance band, or a couple of cases of domestic champagne. Or you could give them a really nice wedding present instead.

i would say that the custom now is for adults who are already in careers and live outside the home to pay for their own weddings. i think the parents paying has always been applied to young girls living at home so i would offer to get them a nice wedding present, or offer to contribute to the reception cost . if they approach you about paying for the wedding then you can decide if you wish to and what budget works for you.

I think that you should help out as much as you can afford to show that you care and support them, but if they make three times what you make, it just wouldn't be "fair" for you to pay for the whole things. If I were them I wouldn't even ask you and your husband to help pay, but if I were you I wouldn't not pay for anything at all. Just have an honest heart to heart, and hope that everyone can come to an agreement. Good Luck!

I wouldn't say that the father of the bride would pay for the second wedding to the same person, if you are really worried talk to them about it.

You can suggest to your daughter helping with the wedding..mention your modest income and suggest you can pay for the cake or something

These days it should be the bride and groom paying. Afterall,it is them who choose to marry so why should anyone else have to fork out.......