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College Admissions help......?
I need someone to review this and see if I need any changes...all help is appreciated. Its about additional comments on an application. Please and Thanks:)
"I would say I am a very determined student who is destined for success. With being on the Yearbook Committee I have advanced from a member to Events Manager. Participating in activities outside of school, such as an internship with Griot's Eye: Habesha Baltimore, Mass Communications internship with Church Lane Elementary School, and a fifth grade tutor."
2 Answers
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
Is there a character limit on this response? Show that you're a determined student by being specific in how many years you did Yearbook, as well as rising to a leadership position. Actually, spell out exactly how many leadership positions you have. Your sentences are basically fragments. I'm reading your answer with no knowledge of your activities and I don't really know what they are. Assume that same thing for whoever is reading these answers. Be clear but succinct.
- DennyLv 69 years ago
Your grammar is awkward. Try the following:
"While being on the Yearbook Committee...."
"Outside of school I participated in activities such as...."
Good luck.
