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kristi asked in HealthMental Health · 9 years ago

So empty, so lost...any advice?

Heyy, so I just turned 20 the other day and realized I'm done with my teens...shouldn't I have something to show for myself?

I went travelling for two years with different friends and have been around the globe, which is pretty sweet but when I came back home...I forgot everything I left behind...both my parents are pretty intense alcoholics, my moms had multiple DUI's stuff like that, yells til 4 am. I was forced to move back home because I'm out of money...im stressed beyond belief...I've never had a boyfriend..and I'm 20...so embarrassing... My mother thinks I'm such a screwed up kid for it... My friends are all overseas or at uni or just pissed cause I let for so long without an explanation..,which I understand. Anyway I am completely 100% alone and feel myself becoming more awkward by the second... wtf am I supposed to do hear I am so lost its indiscribable...

10 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    1) you don't have to explain yourself to no one

    2) your just 20 - be KIND TO YOURSELF MAN!

    3) if people thin you're a screw up for not having a boyfriend yet - doesn't mean you're a loser - no way!

    4) I grew up with an alcoholic/drug addict mom and it's DAMN HARD! so much is taken away from the family unit - the kids - when addiction is involved.

    5) sorry for the numbering

    lastly - when I was 20 I felt like such a loser too because I was raised on this bill of goods stating that I had to have all my **** together by age 21. Be a somebody. Have a degree- a house - a mortgage - the great circle of friends - the boyfriend - etc etc blah blah. That is not reality.

    Jut try to be kinder to yourself.You can start all over again you'll do it numerous times through out your life. Well done for getting travel in too! that's awesome. I live in new zealand and we have a brilliant site called ( The lowdown.co.nz ) if you think you're depressed etc go check it out. I recommend it.

    Source(s): life baby - life.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I believe strongly in TEMPORARY meds to help some of us over rough

    patches. IF you have medical, a psychiatrist does help. And they can

    give good medication for what seems to be depression.

    And doesn't THAT make sense anyway??

    Traveling makes people think they are 'away', don't have to cope

    with it all, then they come back home...plunk, or boom!! Either way,

    it's a downer.

    And that's what you are experiencing.

    But it seems it's the moving back home that is the big thing.

    That would really overwhelm me. Jobs aren't easy to come by,

    and none of them are all that great, but COMPARATIVELY, well,

    I would like to have 'my space' even if it were one small room.

    Some courses are very short like teller, dental assistant,

    whatever you can put up with. Again, gets you out of the house,

    then you get a job, move out.

    I think you also need to talk to a vocational counsellor to have

    an idea where your strengths lie.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    You had two years of experiences. Good, bad and indifferent. Now you are back home and you feel like an empty balloon. All that excitement has to cool down. Has to come back to earth. Has to be put in the memory bin. Takes time and effort. Plenty of that left, (60 odd years?). Take it slow, one decision at a time. Job. Study. Learning (a hobby), a boyfriend will come with time. As a comparison: When the two old folks (65, 63) at home have a party, function or visit, for only a day (or two) it takes us two/three days to recuperate. And we are used to life's up and downs. Note: The boyfriend is the least of your priorities. Will just complicate the issues.

    Peace.

  • izzie
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    Well you seen the world! good for you but now it's time to get on with life. Since your home life is not doing you any good, you need to find a better place and a job that will pay for it.

    A career through education or training is next don't get rushed just take one step at a time and things will fall into place if you keep your eye on the target.

    This does not require any one but friends that are helpful are a plus. Stay away from bad people and bad things as always.

    Mend fences with old friends.

    I am sorry about your parents but that's their problems that they have to deal with if they wish to.

    You know how to be social so finding a connection with a boyfriend should not be imposable right.

    Remember take one step at time, correct mistakes, treat people as you would wish to be treated and thing will get better for you.

    God Bless

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  • 5 years ago

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    You do have something to show for yourself. You have people that love you and you know it.

    Being raised by and around drunks is the real challenge. Nothing is more complicated than the problems of a drunkard. Something like going to the bathroom or paying bills on time becomes an enormous chore.

    I would say your problems revolve around being close to drunk people and not eating and exercising properly. You should go to the YWCA and get involved in a fitness program. Start volunteering at food banks to get away from your toxic environment.

    Above all, smile. God loves you. :)

    Source(s): www.bible.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8SPwT3nQZ8&ob=av2e "I Smile" Kirk Franklin
  • 9 years ago

    I no sumwhat how u feel,im 20also dont have much to show for...u can go away to college if ur interested u could get fasfa and live away from home on campus get a job and make new frieds....thats what i wish i couldd do. Or just get a job or two and try and keep busy

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    If I could use only one sentence to point you toward lasting happiness it would be this: True happiness can only be found in God, for only He can meet the deepest yearnings of our hearts. Let me explain.

    You see, we aren't on this earth by accident. God created us, and He put us here for a reason: to know Him and to enjoy His presence in our lives, both now and throughout eternity. God even created us with an empty place in our hearts—an empty place that He alone can fill. The Bible says, "He has also set eternity in the hearts of men" (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

    Whenever we try to fill that empty place with anything or anyone other than God, we are bound to fail. No matter how many things we have or how successful we are, that empty place is still there. But when we come to Christ, we discover that God loves us, and He makes us part of His family. More than that, He comes to live within us by His Holy Spirit. Think of it: God wants you to be part of His family forever—beginning now.

    By faith turn to God and tell Him that you know you need Him. Then open your heart and life to Christ and ask Him to fill the empty places in your life. Jesus promised, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives" (John 14:27). Turn to Christ today and discover the joy and peace He alone can give.

    http://peacewithgod.jesus.net/

    Source(s): www.bgea.org
  • 9 years ago

    get a job and save money. it will get you out of the house, meet new/more friends and eventually get you your own place. and you do have something to show for yourself. you got to travil for the past two years, you got to see so many different things and visit different places before you hit 20. that is something to be proud of and be lucky for. im 23 and have never been anywhere since i was 4 and that was disney land (i dont remember a lot of it) so be proud. save up and you will have your own place in no time

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Best advice - Get a backbone.

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