I'm 19 and still have teenage problems...nobody gets me :(?

Question

I'm 19 years old and have been recluse and antisocial for the past 5 years of my life, I used to have a best friend but she moved and afterwards I couldn't find one reliable person to trust anymore,that was 4.5 years ago. I was also bullied and that was awfull and getting more severe, but thankfully I took the courage to talk with a school counselor about it, so that kind of stopped. All these years I've had no social activity at all, I don't talk to my family much since they don't get me neither do my siblings. It can be really hard to be all sad and alone somewhere in a miserable corner of your own room. I've waisted a lot of time doing nothing because I was unaware or something. My whole family misunderstands for being dumb, stupid and just a bored to death person, which I'm not! My mother is the only one who tries to appreciate me but its still a fail, but I do love her for trying. Inside there's a fury personality waiting to explode! I can only be the real me when I'm all alone and not in front of other people! All these years I've been trying to figure myself out, to be the person I want to be rather than this bored idiot I am, but people (especially family) make it sooo hard for me! I'm also very sensitive, so thats an issue as well. I want to change myself, I know who I am but somehow I still dont know myself that well. Maybe I have a multiple personality disorder? or bipolarity II?

A good thing is that I got into college, I live miles away from my family now, in a single dorm room. I made friends which I really really like (it was hard though). College life, college in general, living by yourself, earning a few bucks and my friends have inspired me not to give up on life, so thats one positive thing that happened to me. My friends really motivate and encourage me, they taught me to open doors to new experiences and to live freely. I'm trying out stuff I never thought about before,it feels really good. I know I'm changing in a positive way, I'm getting wiser and am growing up, but I still don't get myself? I still don't know who i am or what I really want! 
Then when I'm back home, I feel like the same miserable loser again, and my family isn't much helping. I want to show them how much I've changed, I want them to know! But everytime I try I fail, or they start making rude comments about my new behaviour(e.g. 'Are you trying to be smart? Please don't cause you aren't') they also put so much pressure on me, all of this really lowers my selfesteem...
Why do I have to be the person I don't want to be in front of them? Why?
I'm trying to show, I'm really trying, but they won't give me a chance, the ghosts of the past keep on haunting me.....I feel like a 13 year old again. Thats why I've been trying to avoid them, I just need the time alone to figure myself out I guess, and now they are thinking that I'm ignorant, which I'm not! I do care about them....

I'm just soo confused, how do I deal with everything?? Is this normal? Do I still have teenage problems, is this immature?
Please I just want you to know that I'm a very different person from the society, but I'm fine with myself; I'm different and have different taste in stuff, maybe weird, distinct, I consider myself smart and I kind of love myself. Do I have a disorder or something? 

Please note, I come from a very stereotypical low/mid class family, they are very narrow minded with the exception of my mother maybe while I'm kind of open minded. I never knew this as a early/mid teenager, I just figured it out and I think this is the main reason that makes me distinct from them, also I'm the first child to get into a prestigious college, but they really aren't bothered.....its just soo sad. 

Thank You For reading my life story and thanks for your advice!
Peace....

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

There's nothing wrong with continuing to have teenage issues even at 19. Things don't magically change on your 19th birthday or your 20th or even your 50th. Change comes gradually, sometimes by circumstance and sometimes by work. From what you said, it sounds like you're working hard on making positive changes in your life. Kudos to you for that because change isn't easy, even positive change. First off, don't waste any more of your life worrying about any 'wasted time' in the past. The past can't be undone, but it can use it as a reference point to measure your present and future progress against. Figuring out who you are and what you want is a lifelong process. Who you are and what you want is much different at 20 than it was at 10 and it will be different when you're 30 or 40 or 50. Can you imagine a 50 year old sporting a mohawk and moshing? Be patient with yourself and enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

As far as your family is concerned there could be any number of factors that make them respond to you the way they do. Your family is used to relating to you in a certain way. When you try to shake up that dynamic by presenting them with a new you, you throw them off balance and take them out of their comfort zone. They try to put you neatly back into the pigeonhole you've been in before so they can go on relating to you that same old way. In essence trying to stunt your growth and change so they won't have to change themselves. That means the issue is theirs, not yours. Be consistent in who you are. Continue to show them the new, improved, more confident you. Eventually your family will have to get on board and learn a new way to relate to you because the old way just isn't going to work any more. This takes practice, and persistence. Chances are you will still experience some setbacks. These are not failures, they are practice sessions. The more you practice maintaining your new persona with your family the easier it will become. Again patience with yourself and with them is the key. You're on the right path, now you just need to walk it with your head up, your stride confident. 

If you feel like you need some one-on-one support or just someone to talk to, please call us at the Boys Town National Hotline. Our number is 1-800-448-3000. Counselors are available 24 hours a day 365 days a year to help you with this or any other issues you may have. There is also a website you should check out, www.yourlifeyourvoice.org . Counselors can be reached by email and even live chat during certain hours. 

Counselor CL
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

John · Answer

Cleo,

Your normal . . .your a product of some depressing conditioning that's all . . .as you stated, once school pulled you away from that environment, you began to flourish. 

Duh .... but when you speak with those family members, or visit that environment, the same old feelings return . . .Yes your normal. And that is a result of long term conditioning . . . 

Experiment: Talk with a school counselor . .armed with more specifics he/she can give you some more specific (tailored to your needs) way to cope with the stigma those family members have you attached to you.

You will do fine ... congrats ! ... your out and making improvements ....

Your gonna be a keeper, just get that education, social, romance & friends will come.

If not, your always welcome to chill here at the beach.

;-).

? · Answer

A great meeting ground for young people your age is at the recreation center sign up for Yoga class. I know I have met many people from my Yoga class.

Anonymous · Answer

i kn how u feel i also had 2 deal wid teenagers problems so i understand i felt da same way u felt how bout u tk 2 ppl nd c if they dnt tk 2 u nd u shl tk 2 sumone bout dis they can help u more b strong think postive its not da end of da world

Pearl · Answer

You are just like me,call me i'll tel u what to do. +2348188905840

Anonymous · Answer

don't worry it usually happens in this age slowly you will cover up

Anonymous · Answer

Just get excercising and having sex 



Hope this helped. 

You sound so nice. 

Anwser mine? Its really short and interesting 

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120318033106AAPfpkd

Thanks

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I'm 19 and still have teenage problems...nobody gets me :(?

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