My mom hates me because I am a girl.?

Question

I am from India and am the second girl child. my mom wanted a boy and she never was happy getting me. I have a younger brother as well.
From the day I remember, she never cared for me, loved or pampered me.
it was always the elder sister who used to stay in a hostel or the younger brother who had all the privileges. Elder sister being the first baby and the younger brother being a boy.
I was always ignored. My brother would hit me and kick me whenever he wanted to and this lady never did anything to stop that. Whenever I told my father about it, my brother would be thrashed badly. and this so called mom would curse me for causing trouble to her dear son. I tolerated everything, hoping that she would change some day. Money was scarce and my father was busy with his job. But it was only with his support I managed to complete my studies and get a respectable job. Now I am happily married and expecting my first child soon. My sister is married. My brother is a good for nothing loathe in the house. he doesn't do anything for a living and spends whatever is left there on his bad habits.
All these years nothing changed, my mom still ignores me and tries to cover up his dear son's deeds. Even at this beautiful stage of my life, she is not bothered.
She doesn't like even talking to me, let alone showing some concern or pampering.
I never got any support from her and neither did I expect much from her.
But I have bouts of depression and worthlessness till now. And I know it is all because she gave this to me by her attitude and behavior towards me.
No matter how much I try I am unable to leave the depression and neglect behind.
Even animals never differentiate between their children for being male or female and ignore them.
Then how can a mother be like this.
What was my fault in being a girl?
I never gave them any pain, fared well in studies, got a job, got married without dowry to a really nice family as per their wishes..
But everything always went to my loser brother. and I was left with loneliness, pain and neglect.
I never understood what was my fault.
I don't want to be sad at this stage but the depression and the sense of worthlessness never fades.
Please help!

roqstarosblue · Accepted Answer

sad... u should talk to a therapist. just try to understand that its not ur fault and don't make the same mistakes like ur mom ... some parents are just cold black hearted (my mom is just that)... for a long time i asked myself and God why this woman hated me so much.. certain love ones say she's jealous of me ( who i am,how i am,and what i have)...but whatever the reason is i couldn't let it keep control of me..no more sadness, tears, worries, loneliness, worthiness etc because i became a mother and my joys needed to start.. here i am a mother of 6 and its my mothers lost not mine and yes ive tried to reach out to her but im tired of her biting my hand !! 

so find that strength and move on and enjoy life with the ones that love u...
                                             good luck

? · Answer

Nothing is your fault..... Your mother was simply mad that she couldn't get a boy or maybe she was going through a tough situation in that time and thought you were the one who was doing it now that you got  married and enter such a great stage In  life enjoy it !! And start a new life away from home so you can try to forget the things that happened and so you would never make the same choices your so called mother did :) hope this helped

? · Answer

I've been in same situation like yours, I've moved on in my life, but this pain is carrying on with me of my parents neglecting me.

Too much to describe but I do understand how you feel. I would say you have a lovely children by now I'm sure and a loving husband, be a good mother you your children and set up a good Indian mum example. Don't let your past effect your today!!

MEHNAZ B · Answer

I come from a Muslim background (both my folks are muslim and my dads side orthodox Muslim). I went to Christian schools my entire life. I was hated by my dad till the day he died because I was not a boy. My older 2 sisters are both in the medical field and they are married. 
I had lived a life of representing country in sports and moving out once I finished school. My mom is quicker to jump down my throat for something I did not do or say but when my older siblings do it its perfectly fine.
I do not visit my dads side in a hurry (seen them once a yr and I'm good). I never ever till this day know what was my fault, I know I never got the 'bond' with my dad n he died (in a way I am greatful he did) and my mom, yeah well everything I do is wrong. So nothing there. 
If you need anything welcome to chat. mimzbham@yahoo.com

? · Answer

I'm so sorry for what u been thru. But u need to stay away from her. Some parents need to be taught a lesson. She needs to be sitting down one day, thinking where's my daughter and grandchild? Why won't she call? Then and only then will she realize what she has done to you. It seems like ur doing well despite her abuse. Continue and live for yourself and your children. Alot of people don't realize that we are on this earth for a short while. Enjoy it and never let anyone invade or destroy ur happiness. Including parents. Good luck on your journey thru life. Stay happy.

Anonymous · Answer

Nothing your mom ever did to you is your fault. She sounds like a terrible woman. It is NOT your fault for being a girl; you didn't choose your gender. Try going to some counseling if you still get depressed over it. You could think of it as a learning experience; so you'll never treat your child like that.

Ola K · Answer

my story is very close to yours, and until now I do not even like to see my parents even in a dream, if see any of them in a dream It is simply a nightmare, I keep screaming and crying while I am asleep and I am now 41 years old but I never can forget or forgive their nastyness with me. It is out of my control, I tried hard but my heart can not. I do not wish to see them again even in the judgement day. Sorry, but it is just the most terrible experience any person can pass by.

I want you to go on in life and engineer your own life the way you can be happy with and try to be away from contacting anything can take you back to this terrible memories.

I wish you a good luck.

I want you to go on in life and engineer your own life the way you can be happy with and try to be away from contacting anything can take you back to this terrible memories.

I wish you a good luck.

? · Answer

Dafuq did i just read...?! 
That is SO messed up and honestly, i have only one thing to say. 

FU*K HER. You deserve so much better, and it ain't your fu*king fault you were born that way! I am a girl too and i swear, if my mother ever treated me like that, i'd run away and call the cops.

I know this is difficult for you but stay strong..this ain't your fault. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. that's just her screwed up mind. Turn to a family member or a therapist for help with dealing with this...
praying for ya, &i hope this helped!

ομορφιά · Answer

it's not ur fault,,,that's how most of the indian mothers are (not all),,,just stay away from her as long as u can because she's never gonna change...

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it's your fault.

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My mom hates me because I am a girl.?

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