What's wrong with me? :(?

Question

Idk what to do any more I'm going crazy I'm 19 years old I am a daily marijuana smoker and cigarette smoker i've experimented with many drugs other than Meth and heroin. My memory is all screwed up mostly from weed I think. I literally have like no friends other than my weed dealer who I've known for 5 years. I let people walk all over me I'm Afraid to be assertive most of the time, I'm small and weak, I want to quit smoking and drugs but I just can't I have such a short Attention span. I cry to myself and wonder why I have all these problems. I have no trust for anyone all the people who were my friends stabbed me in the back. I have nothing right now I work almost everyday to escape the pain of my life,itstheonly thing thattrulymakesme feel betterI wish I couldwork forever or just meet a beautiful girl who I could giveeverything to.I dontknow what to do anymoreI just want to be normal. my father commited suicide 2 Weeks before I was born my "stepdad" from age 1 was pretty much always not around he was a great dad till my 1st brother was born ever since then my life has been a downhill spiral after my brother was born my step dad paid more attention to his "real" son I didnt realizethis but I think I did subconsciously after that about 3 years later they had another child and about 5 years after that my parents divorced this was a weird situation but so much has happened I didnt know what to think. I didnt find out about my dad dieing from suicise until I was 14 I was always told he was sick and passed, when I found out thats like when a switch flipped in my head and I was never the same person, I was constantly depressed , I didnt believe anything anyone says I lost all trust in everyone. Ive wished I could just die but im to scared to kill myself. Of course im scared of so many things I just wish I could stop doing drugs and get a girlfriend and just live anormal life but Idk where to meet people and cant have a full convo cuz of my ****** brain

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't know how this question is LGBT related, but... Its all in your head, i'm a counsellor at CHILDLINE and the way that you describe the way you are is not really making any sense. You need to book yourself into rehab, people never like going there, not because they think that someone wants to live or change their lives, no. They afraid to go to Rehab because they think that its just too much, that they've done much damage to their brains and that its impossible to change. Those are just myths.

I'll tell you the thruth, there is help at rehabs and there is hope. At 19 you still young and can turn your life all around, just rip out that page and start afresh. You need to believe in yourself, that the number one step of healing, believing that you are the change you wanna be. People will walk all over you for how long? Its not that you never had quality time with your stepdad, no. Its not about that, and never think the World has turned their backs on you, it has not. You just turned yours on the world.

You can start afresh, believe me, 10 years from now you going to be married, have kids, have that big car and that georgeous house. Now, how you planning on achieving that if you do not want to quit drugs? One thing about drug lords and those that sell it is that they never always around, 2 years from now, what if he dies, who you going to turn to? Think big, think ahead. Even if you think people will see you mad, but go to Rehab, and go back to School! Or look for a job to earn you money to go back to school. Please, its your future. 

Remember: 'be the change you want to be.'

Goodluck!

wilfrid · Answer

A very unwell mama puppy is an tremendously worrying crisis. And I realize your anger at one of the solutions that you simply obtained. It is natural so that you can desire to vent again to those persons a few of your anger and frustration. So, attempt to stay calm and maintain your awareness for your puppy & domestic dogs. Don't allow this cloud your precise target - a healthful puppy. And sure, I might love to understand this results. Kudos to you on your rapid motion in taking good care of 7 domestic dogs! It is not effortless! I desire that extra humans might become aware of that there are circumstances that stump even the quality of vets. While the calicum problem is essentially the most usual with those signs, it isn't the one rationale. And your determination to this puppy and her domestic dogs could be very, very admirable. So, you realize that you're responding to this drawback within the quality system viable. You are doing all you'll be able to do in an tremendously problematic crisis. Let God kind out the relaxation. Peace

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What's wrong with me? :(?

2 Answers