Ex boyfriend harassing my girlfriend at work?

Question

Hi Everyone,

My girlfriend dated this guy at her work for awhile, she broke up with him and she eventually got together with me. The guy can't seem to let it go and move on with his life. Everyday he comes up and tries to talk to her and basically tries to make her feel uncomfortable and spreads rumors about her at work it, and she tells him to stop or ignores him everyday. He is accomplishing his goals and is making a hostile work environment for her. She tells me this and expects me to do nothing and it frustrates me a lot. I want to cheese grate this guys face on the ***-fault I'm a huge man and I can't put up with this. What are somethings I can do or my girlfriend to do to stop this behavior before it gets way out of hand for me and I end up going to jail.

Thanks,
Spencer

Mutt · Answer

Find out what time he gets off work, and meet him in the parking lot to "motivate" him to change his behavior. Depending on how you "motivate" him, it may be legal or may not. But, if as you say, being a huge man, it might be enough intimidation to just let him know you are not happy with the way he has been harassing your girlfriend, and he had better stop (don't threaten - just leave it at that: "You had better stop"). Might be enough right there to get the job done.

If that doesn't work, have your girlfriend talk to her manager about it, and if the situation is not resolved, go up from there (district manager, regional manager, all the way to corporate office if need be).

Tyler · Answer

Report this to the cops, harassment is illegal. If the work place has video to catch the guy in the act it would help a lot. Witnesses would also be very good. Some witnesses could be some of the people who heard the rumors. If the guy is physically harassing her, or sexually, it should be pretty easy to catch it on video. I think this is the best approach since you will not harm yourself in any way. The only problem is to convince your girlfriend to go along with it. Best of luck man!

Lone Cat · Answer

Let your girlfriend solve her own problems.

In psychology they call this the victim, persecutor, rescuer triangle.  You've placed yourself in the role of the rescuer.  You want to save the princess from the dragon.  But real relationships don't work that way.  If you come to her rescue, it sounds good, but the reality is it will ruin your relationship.

By allowing her to solve her own problem you show that you respect her and trust her judgment.  That's how you build a lasting and healthy relationship.

If you threaten or get violent, then you show yourself as an abusive jerk.

Kazzie · Answer

She should probably just tell management that he's harassing her and let them handle it. It's never a good idea to date co workers, for this reason.

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Ex boyfriend harassing my girlfriend at work?

4 Answers