I was in a horrible car accident with my boyfriend and friends?

We were on our way home from a party. It happened 4 months ago. February 12, 2012. We were on a backroad heading back to my house to crash there as my parents were out of town. It was dark and is a very windy road. My friend Austin was driving my Mercedes because I was buzzed. I was the only one wearing my seatbelt. I was cuddling with my boyfriend Nick, he was lying in my arms. We went around a sharp turn Elena screamed bloody murder, there were two deer in the middle of the road. Austin overcorrected, passed the center line and drove off the embankement. We flipped. The side and front airbags went off. Nick flew over me and was ejected out my window, he was ripped right from my arms. Elena was ejected through the winshield, and Austin somehow stayed inside the car but ended up in the front passenger seat. They were all knocked unconscious, I was alert the whole time. My dad had just had the OnStar mirror installed, my iPhone was throw from the car so luckily I had that. The paramedics arrived and took all of us to the hospital. Nick has been in a coma since the accident and the doctor say he will most likely not wake up, Elena has permanent brain damage to the language and communication part of her brain, and they all suffered manor bone breakages. I am tramatized. I have been going through therapy but everyday I walk into Nick's hospital room, sit by his side, and reimagine him being ripped from my arms. I can't do it anymore. They're lives are ruined, and I walked away with a mild concussion. Why me!!! Why did I have to be physically unharmed! Now everyday I am haunted by the accident, driving past it everyday and seeing the accident site. My boyfriend, the love of my life, lyes there motionless! He just lays there. His handsome hot football body is all i look at! His laugh his gone! His voice telling me how much I mean to him. The doctors said of we hadn't been in the Mercedes, we most likely all would've been killed. The accident investigators found that they weren't ejected until late in the accident after the first two rolls, we did 3. The airbags somehow kept the car for most of the accident.