Why is it I can't convince myself?

You are not being realistic. You cannot talk yourself into something you really don't believe. However faith is real, and it does come, when your heart can receive the word of God, and that word has its effect within you.

I had heard about the Bible and various passages from the Bible often in my youth, but it never seemed to apply to me. I rejected God and went my own way. I was brought very low, and in my lowest state God spoke a word into my heart as i lay on my face crying, saying 'Maybe Jesus really did die for your sins", and instantly my depression disappeared, and I felt a love, peace and joy like i never knew existed come into me in place of the depression. Somehow i knew all my sins were forgiven, I had peace with God, and and I knew life was going to well for me from that day on. Forty years later, i am not at all disappointed and closer every day to my eternal reward.

Listen what got others convinced:

http://www.freecdtracts.com/testimony/carolkornack...

http://www.spiritlessons.com/Documents/Several_Chr...

http://www.iamsecond.com/

It's sometimes hard to let go of beliefs, especially comforting ones such as a kind, loving god.

Science has shown that there's no need for gods to explain the traditional reasons for a god -- origin of the universe, origin of life, origin of species, origin of humans, origin of morality. Science also shows us the psychological reasons that people believe in god(s). See the 1st link for the video, "Andy Thomson: Why We Believe in Gods" or buy his book at the 2nd link.

There's no reliable evidence for God/Yahweh, Jesus, Allah, Zeus, Odin, Quetzlcoatl, Vishnu, Thor, Shiva, or any of the thousands of other gods that people have worshiped. If any of the major gods existed, there would be reliable evidence. Since no such evidence exists, these gods do not exist. There's also extensive evidence that they are all just myths, created to help soothe our fear of death, and perpetuated through religion to subjugate the underclass into obedience.

It is impossible for a loving and truthful being to be in charge of everything.

There is a negative and a positive, beings on both sides(vibrations).

The positive ones do not create the negative, and they don't allow them to do anything.

Guess which ones made this place.

Of course you cannot convince yourself that God doesn't exist...That's the first proof of your sanity,anyone with logic will believe in God and only God, any other thing is trivial, don't try to deny him...If you do he will deny you as will and no one...And I mean it...No one can stand against him, don't you think?

Why did the church turn you away?