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In regards to those trying to finding love?
Do you think that maybe the reason why so many folks can either NOT find love or can't KEEP a relationship is because they're in reality 'bad' people?
So many ask on here "why can't I find love? I'm a good person!" or "Why did that person leave me or treat me bad." or "Giving up on love cuz nobody wants me." And you find often the ones that DO maintain good relationships are the ones that are genuinely patient, kind, and honest folks. While those who can't you most often find are self-absorbed, selfish, impatient, or cruel.
Sadly there are the exceptions where good people get with BAD people and become heartbroken. But again the key figure in that fail of the relationship was that they were with a BAD person.
You dont' have to rob, steal, kill, or break a law to be a bad person. Wouldnt' you consider a selfish person, immoral person, abusive, cruel, heartless, apathetic, and shady or a liar a bad person?
So in the end many folks who CLAIM they're nice/good people because they haven't done anything unlawful or truly cruel, could be misguided in their definition? Where the fact they may be selfish, impatient, or have traits not akin to maintaining a good relationship?
Your thoughts folks...thanks for all who answer.
@Jane: I agree with your point, as there ARE other variables to people finding love, as in fate and luck, not just a sense of their personality issues. However I find for folks who aren't engulfed with bad traits, sincere of heart, and with some moral sense and humility, that they ARE blessed with someone...if they really wanted it.
I was actually saying the SAME thing as you at one point, and I had goals in college practically the same. I actually DID date..well if you call it dating, but NOBODY took me seriously. So at 23 I made a bad choice and gave up my virginity. Realized that indeed it was a mistake, and suddenly a year later I met my wife who I truly consider my soulmate. She was that one person I was looking for since 12.
However the only reason she came along was because after that year I decided it's best to just forget about the love thing, it wasn't meant for me, let me focus on my primary goal of giving back and taking care of me and my family (brothe
ugh..stupid yahoo answers glitch. Well I meant to continue on that I ended up finding love when I stopped looking for it and focused on me. That God generally rewards those who want it, not necessarily when YOU want it....but if in your heart it is something you truly desire, many times it comes to you when you actually NEED it most. My wife came when I needed her most, and i'm sure there will be someone for you at moment you don't expect, but possibly needed it.
I dont' know you, but you seem like a good person, it is rare to find our kind who actually put forth efforts for compassion and sincerity. Most play the part but never really ARE the part. I'm sure if you want it enough it will come, but don't dwell on it, you have your life to enjoy, and when the time comes where God knows you'll need that special love from somebody worth yours...he'll come...mine did....I know i'm only one example, but finding love for you isn't hopeless, hell take
---, hell take it as a good thing, last thing you want to go through is tons of heartbreak, if you're goin into love, definitely go into it with someone you deem 'worthy' of what you have to offer.
@ Skittles: Glad I could make your day......that.....day.
2 Answers
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
I agree with you for the most part. I think this is the general implied rule that takes a lot of exposure to understand. There are plenty of actual "bad" people, as in deviant and criminal... but there are even more "bad" people as in selfish, callous, apathetic, cruel, careless, ignorant, etc. The latter group doesn't really realize what they are so they keep living in their ignorant ways and as a result, can't find love and don't know why. But I think it also involves a tremendous amount of luck too.
Take me for example; I'm like a walking, talking irony. The meaning of my real name is "love"... it's something I've always looked forward to having, but never had a chance to give or receive it (in a relationship and in general too). Yeah, I'm still very young (20) and do have a lot of life ahead of me... But I think I've come to terms with the notion that I may never have love in my life; it's something I apprehend and feel won't ever come to me. I believe as humans we all have a "test" in life that God gave us; this test can sometimes be the most ironic and makes our lives somewhat like the movies. My test: I've spent 20 years in solitude waiting for the right guy to come into my life, my "soulmate." But now, in university, I can finally see something that would make me tremendously happy (a career I'll have to work my a** off for)... So I'm willing to work hard for this career and I think it will make me extremely happy (it involves helping people which is sort of my chance to give "love" in a different way)... but if I had my "soulmate" that would probably be too much happiness for a life. I think I'm lucky in other senses and extremely grateful for what I do have now; I have no idea why I've been blessed to the extent I have been. . . but I feel like I should forget about finding love ever because its a stretch.
See what I mean? It's about luck and fate too. They say God doesn't burden any soul with more than they can handle. I think that in the same way, God provides for us just what we need to carry on and be strong. Some people NEED to have love to function properly and be happy; so they are blessed with finding their soul-mates. Some people are truly limited by virtue of what's "meant to be" in their life or their personal limitations, despite how inherently good, patient, moral, or loving they may be. I always considered myself one of those people who needed love, but that's life, its a big ironic test where we can just make it by the skin of our teeth.
Sorry this got all hokey and spiritual; its just my input.
- 9 years ago
Dude, you hit it right on the nose!! Someone who callously breaks people hearts to me is just as bad as someone who committed murder. They have no idea how much it affects the other person.
Thank you so much for posting this...you made my day.
