I cant stop crying. ?

Yes. I agree. It looks so. What do you think is the best alternative in the given circumstances. Too much of anything is bad. Everything should be within limits.

Pray. It does lot of wonders in life like a miracle. Pray honestly, sincerely and earnestly with ardent devotion.

At the same time please take of your health. Health is wealth. A sound mind in a sound body is a must for everyone.

By the way what is you real question here.

Just let it go, he sounds like a jerk anyway

You have gotten very attached to him, and you cannot seem to let it go- you already know that, though. This will sound like the hardest thing in the world, but breathe in, and breathe out. You said you loved him, right? Then you need to call him and explain what happened. I think you were just overwhelmed with the proposal and "encounter", and your body reacted too quickly. Minds get jogged up with all that stuff. Once you explain what happened, apollagized, and tell him you still love him, give him some time to think. He must be overwhelmed, as well! After a week or so, if he does not call back, it is your choice to call him again or not. In this hard time, you just need to allow yourself to have as much rest you can get, and comfort from family. I wish the best of luck to you.

If you truly have suicidal thoughts, call the police or take yourself to a hospital. I don't know much about anything, but I do know that a significant other is ABSOLUTELY not worth killing yourself over. As far as what you explained about the situation, there's a reason why you called things off. You really need to take some time to yourself and think things through. If I would have killed myself when I broke up with a girl I really, really loved, then I would have never met my wife and had the beautiful children and the great life that I do now.