My boyfriend just attacked me?

Realize that you cannot change your partner, only your reaction to him. You can attempt to show your partner how damaging these behaviors are and how they are affecting you. As time passes you will find that its a waste of energy to hope that your partner will agree that you are seeing the situation fairly and then " come to their senses" - as this feat is only achieved by simultaneously taking into account the entirety of your partners own personal perspectives as well as the entirety of yours, and then balancing the two with objective truth in order to come up with a fair assessment. In that moment you would need to think and feel like an abuser and reconcile that at the same time with healthy relating (which is not possible because the two oppose one another by nature. They cannot be reconciled). Ultimately, the truth is that you cannot accomplish that task within the limitations of your humanity and neither can you force any changes immediately or gradually in your partner. Getting a sober reality check on this is a key to finding the right trail to health. Realize that the abusiveness in your partner is rooted in multiple layers of their emotions and perspectives. Trying to change them through arguing or persuasion translates to them as the complete denial and devaluation of their own experiences and realities. Abusers are tragically self-centered by default. You do not understand how deeply, and should not presume to. Abusers will feel an immediate instinct to protect the intricacies of their own thought patterns and push your logic away in the process of discussing anything which lays the responsibility of change onto them. Part of the unfathomable self-centeredness of abusers is the fact that they feel inherently victimized or threatened. Do not try to be a hero or think that you are the one person who has what the abuser always needed. That is a delusion created through the despair of the situation playing on your compassion. Chances are, you were attracted to the abuser because of a codependent streak in your personality. Check for that thoroughly. Furthermore, remember that you cannot argue logically with an unreasonable person. Abusive behavior is only a manifestation of abusive thought patterns which have a permanence in the deepest parts of the abusers mindset. The only thing that can change a persons thought patterns is the introduction of a different set of them. The healthy new ones are created by a deeply impacting set of new experiences which will transcend the old ones if the new ones are far superior in quality and quantity. It takes years of constant delivery to get the effects deep enough to override the majority of old realities. Afterwards, your partner will recognize the old patters by contrasting them and gladly decide to end the behavior on his own as a simple trade-up.

Set boundaries. Abuse, in general, is an issue of disrespect that usually involves trespass upon individual's equality and freedom due to unclear or poorly-defined boundaries. If you are on the receiving end of abuse, it's up to you to set up clear, reasonable boundaries for an honorable relationship and to consistently stick to them. Let your partner know that you now recognize your responsibility in allowing the disrespect in the past, but that this era has now come to an end. Recognize the damage incurred by the previous era and establish a commitment to obtaining the support needed to forgive and restore the peace and strength necessary for mutual respect in all of your future relationships. Realize, in cases of moderate forms of abuse or greater, that if step #1 at the beginning of this entire step by step document is not achieved beforehand, you are only setting boundaries that will be recognized by one person - you. Continuing to enforce disrespected boundaries while living with or constantly seeing an abuser will only enable and give the abuser permission to continue the abuse. Your presence is all that is needed for them to translate it into permission. Remember, you are dealing with tragic self centeredness of unfathomable depth and complexity. The abuser sees your commitment to boundaries as a sign that you approve of their abusive behavior and in some way you are there to rescue them from themselves. You are not dealing with a reasonable person. Your logic and ethics are working in the abusers defense, not shedding a contrasting light for them to use as guidance. Do not tolerate repeated offenses longer than 30% of the total time you've been in the relationship. If you fail to stop tolerating it, then you must begin realizing your codependent streak and work against it with outside backup. You are not doomed to loneliness and the abuser does not realize or recognize how much they need you to pull away from them right now. You are not abandoning them or the relationship at this point. You have permission to separate.