Husband turns me down for sex but masturbates?

I'm with the lion. Fear of intimacy, talk to him.

Every woman has a tendency to blame themself; usually because of looks- can you blame us. The world we live in obsessed with image, and definitely a male orientated sexual world where the women get insecurities as men look at women in porn etc and expect that to be where the bar is set. If you look online at the amoun of women who hae insecurities about such a wide range of sexual problems or inhibitions about their bodies and how they actually come together and there is so many more people than you think. It's very confidence boosting. Back to the matter in hand though, often and I wonder this myself, as a fellow woman with a high sex drive, if it is a turn off to men. It is a shame to be with someone not interested knowing 9/10 guys would be blown away by it, and not even in a typical idiot sex driven way, in a romantic 'wants you all to himself ' way. Yes, if I am being honest, there is the possibility that there may be something going on with someone else, however you haven't mentioned beig worried about cheating. Most women with half a brain know the signs so I'm sure you will know. Also, some men have problems. Porn addictions, etc. the fact that he is masturbating is probably not a sign he is cheating or surely he would be out there doing it. Try not mentioning sex, or being interested in it and see if this gains his attention enough to realise something is up, it may be that you are too full on and your particular guy may need to feel that you have lost interet in his lack of interest for him to realise, however wrong and sad it is anyway, and want you more! You said you get hit on, go out and get dressed up, for the sake of your own benefit and self esteem, and remind yourself that you can draw the attention of someone, not jut the hottest man in the bar but also more sensitive ones. Don't act on it, just know that it is there :) Hope you get it sorted

Masturbation is quick and uncomplicated. His hand makes no demands of him. It's more important to find out why your sex life together has declined. Make time to do some honest talking. Don't accuse him and concentrate on how you can both improve things rather than blaming each other. He may be stressed, depressed or angry about something. It's a good idea to actually make a no sex rule for a while and just kiss, hug, massage and pet. This takes off the pressure and revives intimacy. Good luck.

1st of all- dont' post your picture like some creeps suggested.

I had this problem once. My Ex used sex as a weapon so he would withold it if he was angry (even if he was angry with someone other than myself). He J@cked off alllll the time but I would beg for sex and get nothing. I too am an attractive woman. I dealt with it for about 6½ years out of the 7 we were together. It was torture, i have a super charged sex drive. I actually ended up cheating on him a few times during the last year of our relationship. I still blame him though. I wrote him letters, I asked him what the problem was, when i got desperate I even told him if he won't give it to me I will find someone who would. I did. We broke up, and I've never been happier. Now I get it good on a regular basis. And I am 29- at the peak of my sex drive. I need it ALL the time. Lucky for me I am dating a rather fit man who can keep up lol

Sex is largely mental and the “mood” has a great deal to do with his mental state. It may be his work or it may be the way in which you approach him or he may just be addictyed some silly *** internet porn. Try using an indirect approach and put his mind to work and maybe his body will follow. Dress with no undies, a see through blouse etc. Don't give in so easy.

From what you say here, you are a nice looking gal and don’t have to worry about being mistaken for a lower order primate..LOL So, go the tease route and get his mind on something erotic not just sexual.

Men tend to want what they cannot have....

Sometimes guys just want a quick, uninvolved orgasm so they choose to masturbate instead.

Another reason is that sex has become routine and he wants something new to try and enjoy with you.

This can also happen because of some unresolved emotional issues. This causes people to pull away from their spouses and they decide to take care of their sexual needs through masturbation.

I'm hoping it's because of reason number 2. If you're sexually open-minded, here's a list of some fun things to do to add some spice to your love lives.

Learn how you can be creative and what you can change to make it more fun.

Talk about your fantasies and what you'd like to do and explore together.

Go to a sex shop and see what interests you and your partner.

Introduce toys to the bedroom.

Have a night of hands-only sex.

Another night make it mouth-only sex.

Does he like to see you wearing certain clothes (ex. heels, stockings, bras, leather, latex)?

Buy a can of whipped cream and strawberries and have him eat them from your body.

Tie him to the bed and have fun with him. Or let him do it to you.

Explore biting or spanking together.

Discuss the idea of having a threesome if you're both comfortable with the it.

Masturbate each other one night - no intercourse allowed.

Masturbate yourselves and enjoy watching each other enjoy themselves.

Watch porn together.

Try sex in public places.

Let him shave you and then clean you up.

Try going for a walk together while you're wearing a strap-on vibrator. See how far you can go in public without stopping for an orgasm.

Send him sexy and teasing emails though out the day. He'll be excited for you when he gets home.

Introduce whips and feathers to your play. Remember to use 'safe words' that signal a partner to stop.

Role play. Buy or make a uniform that the other person would love to see you in.

Try new positions in bed.

Ask him to delay his orgasm until you've had at least 5 or more.

Have sex somewhere else other than the bedroom.

During dinner leave a sex toy out where he can see it to get his imagination going for what's going to happen after dinner.

Go out for dinner and have one of you tease the other under the table.

Make sexy videos together.

There aren't any limits to fun as long as it's safe for both of you and it's something both of you want to and feel comfortable trying together.

If he's stressed, it may be he's just getting it out of his system, like Alison says.

Otherwise from a guys point of view, he may not be comfortable with telling you what he likes, heels, stockings, etc,etc,etc.

See the problem I find with most females, when it comes to spicing things up in the bedroom is, they'll approach it like they do any other shopping.

"Do you like this?"

"What do you think of that?"

"Would you like me to wear this?"

By then the feeling in our stomachs, is similar to the one when you're really hungry and you can't wait the extra 20 minutes for meal that's being prepared.

Guys don't care, it spoils the spark and the moment, just get it, get it on and strut it, simple.

Show him what he's missing and how good he has it right now, don't choose corny stuff, choose simple straight forward stuff he can relate to (NO nipple tassels) or any of that crazy stuff they sell in those women's shops that think get men off.

It doesn't.

It makes it worse, trust me.

Bottom line is, men are a.b.c, women are the complete opposite, if you want him, you're going to have to do the running on this one to get his interest.

The one thing most women DON'T see when it comes to lingerie and glamor models, is what they wear, guys are not drawn to THEM in particular, but HOW they're packaged.

The heels, the stockings, the cleavage, lips and hair, less is more, forget creams, pills, potions and lotions (for the minute), you get this right and you won't be able to keep him off you.

EDIT: Every guy's got a preference and it usually is the opposite to what he sees daily, that's part of the reason glamor models dress the way they do, because you don't see that everyday on the street.

Now, attention to detail is like drug, if it's precise.

For instance:

Me, when it comes to women, any woman with her hair down and wearing mules or wedges (oh yes.....I know what they're called) regardless of the clothes worn in between, smiles at me and I'm twelve years old again.

My point is, there will be particular type of heels he likes and a particular hairstyle, generally when it comes to stockings and bra's, black and see through fit the bill, with stockings, something simple with a bow at the top (remember it's the package) but you've got to strut it, lean over and talk to him closely, slap your ar*e as you walk away and make him want it.

Desire is a huge turn on to a guy, then when he comes to get it push him away (gently) but just once, don't giggle, just stare him down and wait.

And I tell you this, that man will be tripping over his pant legs, to get to you.

That's all I can think of to add.

I'd be willing to bet your husband is heavily into porn on the internet.

Talk to him about that bahavior. Let him know you have needs too .

some women turn sex into a chore

*thatisall