Please grade my SAT practice essay (Please grade on 1-6 scale)?

I would give it a four. It was detailed but you should avoid saying "I" or "you" in your essay. Make sure your handwriting is neat. Your essay is scanned and given to the people who grade it so it needs to be as clear as possible.

"Nobody who applies to those schools simply fills out the application while meeting the requirements and expects to be accepted." That sentence was beyond confusing. I get what you mean, but it's worded unnaturally. It's lengthy and too wordy. That's one thing I've learned; don't add too many words to make it seem longer. It makes it more confusing for the reader. "One who applies to an ivy league school exceeds the minimum requirements." or "One doesn't apply to an ivy league meeting only the minimum requirements and expects to get accepted." sounds a lot better. You want it to sound intelligent AND get your point across without confusing the reader. They shouldn't have to go back to read it over.

Your conclusion is supposed to restate the thesis in the the first sentence and wrap up the entire essay. You should add a counter argument as it's own paragraph. It's longer, but it's less confusing. It ends somewhat abruptly, as if you were running out of time and just ended it there.

I've found that planning as you write saves more time. I'm not sure if this works for everyone or just me(I've always found it easy to write without planning.). I thought about things as they came to me, while writing and I got an 8.

Find what works best for you.

This is not bad, but I think you have a lot of room for improvement.

First, the SAT writing is big on simplicity. You do not need to make this a complicated essay. I think you misread the prompt, first of all, or at least didn't address it fully. The question is whether you believe a person makes his own destiny, or whether destiny/your fate will happen no matter what you do or what choices you make. You didn't actually answer that question. You talked about "success" and "achievements" but you never actually connected that back to the question or even discussed how it related to the concept of destiny. I think you can fix this in the future by 1) reading more closely and 2) making sure *all* the connections are actually there. Don't assume your reader will follow your leaps of logic.

Your inner paragraphs could use more structure. Use the same intro/evidence/conclusion format you use for the essay as a whole.

You introduce new ideas in the conclusion, which is almost never a good idea. I understand you wanted to address some counterarguments (which you should) but the conclusion is not the place to do that. Either create a separate body paragraph or apply the appropriate counterargument to each body paragraph you've already written.

Your conclusion should be a summary of your arguments and a conclusion. Reading it here, it feels like you ran out of time. Understandable, but there's no need to broadcast that to the reader.

Finally, there are a number of basic writing errors. Obviously nothing done in this situation is going to be perfect, but you want it to be as polished as possible. The biggest glaring error is your use of pronouns, so if you pay attention to that, you'll take care of many of the issues. You'll also want to watch out for split infinitives. Most everything else you should be able to catch on your last read-through before time is called.

Put some emotion into it and come out more on an emotional and personal level. This is informative and dry, though it certainly has direction, it is very boring because there is nothing to make the reader care. You are young, don't expect to enlighten with your logic, try to enlighten with your perception.

I took 3 minutes to read it all...IMPRESSIVE job done friend, but need to eliberate some sentence more... 9 of 10 :D