Temporary Long Distance Relationship and Pessimism?

Question

August 5th will be my boyfriend, let's call him Frank, and I one year anniversary. Then 20 days after that he will be leaving to the West coast (We live on the East Coast now) to spend the semester away interning for college credit. He has never said anything about breaking up the relationship but he has said he went into our relationship expecting it not to be forever and for there to not be love all because he was leaving in which I said just because you leave doesn't mean I can't love you. He then said he's worried about things being strained. When he was in his last semester of school he was always busy, he's studying to be a film major so I know he's always on sets, etc. Any who, I would go months without seeing him because I told him School > everything else. He will be coming back from his study away thingy in December. The thing is, he's such a pessimist when it comes to things. He always says he envy's my optimism. How can I help him be optimistic and to let him know that a year relationship doesn't have to fail just because he's studying abroad? I figured we could always text/facebook each other. I don't do skype, I don't have a webcam and I can't sit still for that long. Besides, he says he really likes me and I mean a lot to him, so how could a person resist another person saying "I'll wait for you?" when all his past lovers ran away? Blahh, So sorry this question is rather over the place. I just have so much on my mind as you can tell haha.

Michelle · Accepted Answer

School is the most important, and the fact that you know that says a lot about you as a person. Sit him down, look him in the eyes and tell him that you love him. You want to wait for him. Tell him that you understand he needs to do this, and you support him 100%, but you still want to be a part of his life.

Being a pessimist myself, you need to reiterate to him that you love him and you don't want to leave him, and you don't want him to leave you. Make a deal to talk on the phone at least once a week, for at least five minutes. It always helps when you can't see your loved ones to hear their voices.

I assume you love him and want to stay with him and have a strong monogamous relationship. If you are of a less strict persuasion, tell him that you'll wait, but you'll also understand if he finds someone else/likes it there better. Just let him know that you still want to be in his life. That's the main thing.

Ben · Answer

I will do my best to help you. I lost someone special to me because of long distance. 
Get a webcam, talk as much as possible. Let them know you care and love them as much as you can. The time difference will be tough, so make time for each other. 
Watch out for signs they are having a hard time with it and make them know you are there for them no matter that. 
Plan a trip to see them when they have time if possible. 
Talk and text as much as you can. Trust me it does help the guy out to know you are thinking of them. 

I lost that and I never realized how important those little texts were too me. They really help someone get through the day. Long distance is possible, if both people know what is at stake. 
If they both see it is worth it. 

I hope this helps, fight for love, without love we are nothing. 



Thank you for your advise before. If you get a chance check out my other questions, mind you they all sort of overlap but there is small pockets of info. I am lost without my love, I don't want to see the same happen to you. Love is worth fighting for, remember that and do what you have too.

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Temporary Long Distance Relationship and Pessimism?

2 Answers