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any comments for 'Stalled'?
Stalled.
A road ahead unseen.
A roar of a motor unheard.
A rush of wind unfelt.
Here,
alone,
hands on wheel,
key in ignition,
radio at the ready,
top down and a sun looking down
at the ready to chase a fleeting shadow,
I sit.
Unmoved.
Stalled
at the side of this road.
A passenger only in the driver's seat.
3 Answers
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
Really great poem. Interesting meter- but i loved it. Flowed great but had one little bump along the road when you said "top down and sun looking down". It's a little out of place in your poem, but hey everyone has at least one of those in their poems and it's easy to fix. I would say maybe write it something like this:
Top down and
sun looking down
You may find that if you read the poem with the words arranged like that, that it will be just that little bit easier to read. But, it is your poem and if you're happy with the way it is then that's great, coz i'll still love it either way :) Hope i helped
Caitlin
- 9 years ago
I hardly get the meters of the poem, It would be more nice if you wrote as Sonnet (in my ideas)...
