Why do I feel the need to compete with my ex?

Question

Yes, it is foolish. We didn't break up by accident - we had a lot of issues that couldn't be resolved. The crux is that she has a new boyfriend. I moved on but whenever I hit a lot point or a setback I start to compare and compete. I have her beaten in almost every category - education, job, potential, social standing, etc. but it still bothers me that she found someone else and that I haven't (of course I beat him in every category as well, he is a loser). Again, I keep competing with her. Why am I competing with her? I refuse to settle for someone who isn't amazing, perhaps I am being too picky. One of the reasons that I am being picky? I want someone who will beat my ex as well. This only occurs when I hit low points or major setbacks. I want to stop doing it though. After all, I'm out of her life and she is out of mine.

viana · Accepted Answer

you feel this way because you have not moved on. and this is because you are angry with her or still love her but don't know it. that is why its difficult for you to find someone else to settle with. everyone else doesn't seem as good as she was to you. you must let go honey, especially becos she has replaced you. start by not thinking about what the hell is going on in her life, focus only on your life. competitions will also disappear if you do this and believe me, the right gal will come.
hope this helps dear.
cheers

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Why do I feel the need to compete with my ex?

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