Do You Like This Story? I'm Already Writing It, but Just Want Tips!?

Quick note: This is a very happy story. Reffering to the Hunger Games where Katniss freaks out around the end and kind of loses it, I want Rivar (my main character) to stay happy and positive about everything. I also want to include every single character in the end of Book One.

First, the whole story is about teenagers who train at an Elemental Dojo where they learn to control water and earth. I don't mean to be using an idea from Avatar: The Last Airbender, though I still love that show! :) But the main antogonists are three mean who go by specific colors violet, crimson, and green. The story is told through first person narration from Rivar. Jaliet, Eliot, Kand, Com, Serena, and other characters are also main. Though, the dojo is very small. AND they have modern technology and takes place in the present, just off to the side of the normal world.

The Characters are as introduced:

Rivar Aceyear: A tennage boy who is the main character. The story centers around him and the adventure, but the others are just as important. He has bright, red hair and is an average hieght. He's very cheerful, nice, and optimistic to situation. But he can sense a fight when it's needed.

Jaliet Cunningham: A teenage girl with straight, black hair. She's Rivar's best friend and sort of represents a stronger woman. She's nice, but normally a little mean. She's a great fighter and comes up with dozens of different stratagies.

Com: Com is the master or sensei of the dojo. He is old, frail, but can be surely tough. You've never seen him fight since the start of the book, but you hear about what he has done. He's wise and is never afraid. If you ever see him afraid, it's normally to help Rivar, Jaliet, or any of the trainees realize something of themselves and reveals that Com was never really afraid.

Kand (suspected to be the Purple Guy): Kand is an average man who was hired by Com on a whim. Unkown at the start of the book, he was thought to be a criminal, but revealed to be a nice man and wasn't bad.

Eliot Maple: A 14-year-old boy who was also hired a little while off the start of the book. He's joyful, optimistic, and a sweet person at heart. He's a prodigy at water skills, and becomes a great fighter and something called an "ice fighter." Though, he makes his own styles of fighting at the end of the book.

Serena Crossfire: Serena is like Jaliet, only short-haired blonde. She's more abrupt, though. She used to work for the Red Guy's army until Jaliet and Rivar beat her and made her become sane again. Not much is known about her past.

Red Guy: An evil, mysterious man who has a growing army of fifty Elemental fighters. Nothing is known about him in the first book.

Green Guy (revealed to be an apple merchant, Resturo): He has two assistants. Rivar and Jaliet fought him and defeated him. Though, myths say that Eliot and Rivar were to defeat him. Com says that rumors say if one goes against fate, the one they cheated would come back stronger. Though, it's only a myth.

Purple Guy (thought to be Kand, though wasn't): He is a mystery man, as well. Nothing is known of him except that he was found to be robbing village houses.

Summary:

I’m Rivar. This story is 100% completely serious. It has all happened. This is all true!

There’s a really big feild, one mile by two miles, leading to a cliff. The cliff starts with large rocks serving as a barrier of sorts. If there’s ever an invasion we wouldn’t need to worry about that.

In the center but off to the left is a dojo. It has two stories, the top is the resting area, the bottom the common necesities. The kitchen, the living room, and the dining room.

It has a red baboo roof. The exterior walls are made of total stone.

We have running clean water, cleaned by us, and a refridgerator.

Com, the master, says if the mortal world has things all can benefit from, then why not use it?

About a quater of the mile away, close to the cliff, is a huge circular stone platform. Four podiums of pure yet sharp stone lined up on the edge of the platform to form a square. The platform was divided into three sections. A circle in the middle, a bigger one surrounding that, and an even bigger one that. Imagine a ripple in stone.

Carved into the middle one was a large I. The next circle had II through XIII [ 2-13 ]. The next one had XIV to XXXI [ 14 to 31 ]

It’s a calender, too! We have to carve a diamond over whatever date it is. The next month we just patch it all up smoothly.

A cobblestone pathway led up to a collection of fifty cottages and a market. They lived on the very left side of the field where all the stones blocking the cliff began.

A big pond rested to the right side leaking off the cracks in the stones yet always replenished. A lake stretched off that and disappeared behind a mountanous hill. Behind that lead to the normal world.

Tips please! Thank