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Relationship Advice: Married 9 years to a lying, hypocritical, (Cheating?), unreliable man. What should I do?
We've been together for 12 years, married for 9. Things were great with hubby until we got married and then he became possessive and controlling. I have left him so many times and every time I come back he's good for a little while but always returns to the bad behaviour. All these years he's been telling me its wrong for me to have male friends. While I've been in college for the first year he accused me of cheating on him every time we talked while I've been away in another city furthering my education and even telling me he expects me to fail. When I got home for summer break I find out he was flirting with LOTS of girls on Facebook, having explicit sexual conversations with them, even talking about meeting them somewhere to mess around (serious or not I don't know), he goes to "naughty" adult video chat rooms, visits nasty young porn sites like teenporn.net (he's 41) and looks regularly at nude pictures of women on FB. After all these years of not trusting him and now finding out he does everything he's been accusing me of while not being supportive of my education. I don't want to be divorced. We have a good life together with a newly purchased house. He is a good man deep down, but constantly makes bad decisions and lies to me. I can't trust or depend on him. Would I be smarter to walk away and start over or ... what? I don't know. Any reflective advice would be helpful. Thanks :(
3 Answers
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
Seriously you need to get a way as soon as you can, divorce his dirty ***, teach him a lesson, men accuse you of cheating when they're doing it themselves he will never change.
If not then try to talk to him about it, but seriously I think you need to teach him a lesson tell him you want a divorce, scare him and see what happens but I don't think he will ever change and I know it's a hard thing to do but he doesn't respect you at all, you deserve better!
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- mingerLv 45 years ago
Possibly you consider so responsible and unhappy on the grounds that you are part of a relationship that has failed. However, you have not failed. He failed you. You're correct, you do must move out and move on. Nobody could blame you for waiting except after finals earlier than moving out. Christmas probably difficult now, but there's no factor in pretending before Christmas whilst you recognize you'll be leaving proper after. It is not k so that you can be dealt with this way. You deserve admire. You are going to find a quality man. Do not worry. Be robust, let him go and do not seem again. You are able to do this! Hold your chin up, ok? As for the excursion, are attempting getting again to your household or hang out with pals for Christmas, play carols, do some vacation baking and cooking, or volunteer at the soup kitchen. There are ways to fill Christmas so as to aid you're making optimistic memories even in the midst of your pain. Just right luck! :-)
