What martial art would be the best for me?

First, forget what kind of martial art you want because you don't know how many martial art gyms are in your area.

First, google for some martial art gyms in your area and make a list. Visit each one when you can. Observe the classes, inquire about price and class times. Ensure that if there are children in the gym, that they attend different classes to adults.

Be sure that you do NOT take on a combat sport like Judo or Muay Thai. There is a difference to what happens in the ring and what happens in real life.

Make sure the costs do not exceed 80 a month.

Finding a decent Brazilian Jiujitsu gym is difficult now a days, because most gyms focus on the sport rather than reality.

Do not join a Krav Maga gym, because most gyms that claim to teach it, don't actually teach Krav Maga.

All martial arts can be made to suit your size. Taijutsu is probably one of the better martial arts for smaller people, because it teaches you to defeat larger attackers with minimum effort.

EDIT: Yeah, I should probably mention, since so many idiots here have said it, that you do NOT need to learn ONE martial art after the other just to learn Striking, Grappling and "Ground". Most fights don't go down to the ground, and those that do, aren't actually fights.

This is the difference between Martial Art and Combat Sport. What works in real life and what works in the ring.

Taekwondo, teaches strikes, grappling and take down defense. So does Karate and Aikido. Muay Thai doesn't because its a sport.

You also, do NOT need to attend Three different gyms just to learn self defense. That will only be costly. Money and Time will only be wasted doing that.

I'd suggest BJJ. Your size is fine for it, and your background as a gymnast and dancer are good. And it's reasonably good for self-defense.

I said "reasonably good" because really, for self-defense, you should take a self-defense course or program. BJJ isn't designed specifically for self-defense. But neither is any other martial art. At least not the way they're taught today.

Judo would also be a good choice, though it has the same drawbacks regarding self-defense.

Regarding money, I saw one piece of advice here suggesting you spend no more than $80 a month. Not good advice. Maybe in some parts of the country (or continent) $80 will buy you good instruction. But in other geographic areas, you're really looking at figures closer to $120-$150.

There's also some advice here to forget looking at styles and to look at nearby gyms. Realistically, OK, you'll be confined to the choices offered by the local gyms. But I'd suggest you identify the martial art first and then see what gyms nearby offer it.

For most martial arts, you really don't have to do much if any weight training. Although strength can help, you'll find that a lot more depends on technique. You also don't have to do weight training to improve your stamina and cardio. (Lots of women, for instance, do cardio kickboxing for fitness and exercise. It works great, and doesn't involve weight training. And take a look at a lot of guys who do BJJ. Put them in a suit--or jeans and a sports shirt--and they look totally ordinary. It's not unusual to find guys who compete at 135 lbs being 5'7" tall, and guys at 155 lbs. being 6' tall. You don't have to be muscle-bound to good at martial arts.)

Hope that helps.

BJJ. Hands down. BJJ was invented so the smaller guy or gal, could win. So you don't have to worry about gaining muscle or being big. Being flexible really will help with the strength of BJJ. BJJ is self-defense. That is what it is used for. However, you also have multiple offensive moves available. If you still arn't sure, finding any video on Youtube about BJJ will show you how fun and easy it is. You don't need any equipment to do it. No gloves, no Gi, no pads of any sort. It will truly help you the most.

Brazilian jiujitsu I think would be beneficial. Being a gymnast and a dancer and ur size is ideal for bjj. With bjj you will learn self defense techniques and grappling techniques that can make a grown man submit or tap out. Go check out YouTube clips and FYI U.S. Marines and US Army uses BJJ as there backbone in there martial arts training. With that said, that would be a great start to your self defense journey.

Now to back up the bjj skills you would gain, add muay Thai kickboxing with that to your training. Most training schools nowadays have bjj and muay Thai combined. Make sure they cross fit to your schedule like bjj is @ 5 and muay Thai is @ 6.

And when your searching for school to train, do research on the school itself, when your in there check if have medals, trophies, pictures of there school winning competitions. Also check reviews online about the school. And last but not least, know your future instructors, feel them out by asking them questions like who did they train under, how long have they been training. And then check them out on YouTube and google to see if there good. There are a lot of these black belt bjj instructors out there that are happy to take your money and train you didleysquat.

I did lots of research before I decided to go to my school...

Since you're not looking to lose too much of your feminine appearance you probably shouldn't go for anything that will require excessive weight training.

This isn't really a problem unless you want a grappling style, if you want to do some grappling focus on grappling that gives a 'softer advantage.'

For example, while many BJJ practitioners lift weights and gain mass to get even more of an edge, their training and techniques already provide a huge advantage that lets them overcome stronger opponents.

Both Japanese and Brazilian Jiujitsu do this as well as Aikido, and from what I understand there are a few softer Korean arts(Korean arts are not my field of expertise..)

Tai Chi Quan can provide the benefit of a complete system while still being a very soft style, but finding someone who teaches the martial aspect of it can be difficult.

Ba Ji Quan is great for shorter people, but finding someone who can teach it to you outside of China is a chore in itself. (Trust me, you WONT find them online. :/) It's a very complete striking oriented style that is still evolving even today and has perhaps some of the most powerful strikes in the world.(Although it's very energy inefficient, but your your background should have given you the cardio to handle it.)

Tae Kwon Do would allow you to take advantage of your flexibility, it's not the greatest for self defense but would probably be a past time you could enjoy more fully than most practitioners thanks to your body already being built for it.

Muay Thai and Boxing are both effective striking arts for self defense.. but you'd be getting hit in the face a lot.. and you probably wouldn't want that. :<

I'll recommend Pigua Quan even though it's better for taller people.(I'm a little biased here though and I feel it's underrepresented.) It uses fully extended arms to strike and requires full body flexibility for a lot of the movements.

I'd like to recommend Karate here.. but if I started listing the different styles I'd be up all night. You could probably do this part of the research on your own. ;D

An important detail I'll mention at the end here is that cross-training is a good idea for self-defense.

The idea isn't necessarily to try to be a jack of all trades, master of none. Think of it like college.

Major in 1 martial art with a minor in 2.

Using myself as an example I cross train Bajiquan(My major), Boxing, Piguaquan(My two minors.)

While they're all arm striking styles, they mesh extremely well giving me many striking options someone who only trained in one wouldn't have. Like if they were to parry my blow(boxing) they wouldn't expect the other arm to circle around in the next instant(Piguaquan) then if they were to block it then my body would be in a position to land an unblockable elbow to the chest using the same arm they blocked no less!(Bajiquan)

While I think you should only focus on one at the moment, consider exploring other styles in the future.. if you're still into the martial arts at that time that is!

If you want a good martial art that you CAN use for self-defense purposes, I really suggest Muay Thai, Aikido and Kali. Muay Thai conditions your body to receive blows but at the same time, it trains you to become a better fighting machine. Aikido does not use brute force but instead it relies on using the opponent's strength against him. Both martial arts will do even without Kali but i personally recommend you to take Kali as well. Why? Eskrima/Arnis/Kali trains you to use weapons for offense even the improvised ones. Trust me, Kali is a very "helpful" coomplementary to Muay Thai and Aikido, especially if you carry a weapon (e.g. expandable steel baton) with you all the times.

To make the long story short, here are what I suggest:

a. Muay Thai for striking/conditioning

b. Aikido for striking and ground fighting/softness

c. Kali for melee weapons training/combat-oriented

Good luck!

Good martial arts for small people inlclude Aikido and Judo. They are both also good for self-defense.

Krav Maga is another good self-defense martial art.

If you want to take advantage of your flexibility, tae kwon do involves lots of kicking. But I can't recommend it for self-defense (even though I have a black belt in it). Its better than nothing but for me it became a sport and I learned actual fighting elsewhere.

I wouldn't recomend Kung-fu at all and karate only if there was nothing better.

Well now a days, most martial arts consist of various styles, go visit some local martial arts studios and check it out for yourself. If you don't wanna spend a lot find a studio that does monthly payments and not contracts, depending on how much it costs. Just look around and stop by some studios and check it out for yourself! :)

The ones with soft techniques are better for shorter people (yeah, I'm here too)...

Hapkido, Aikido, Judo, Jujitsu and the sort.

Tang Soo Doo seems cool given your gymnastic background, though.

Kicking and wrestling is for defense, and punching or chopping is for offense.

I think you should fight the way you were born to fight by scratching, biting, screaming, kicking, kneeing, and other girly ways of fighing. That style is good if you have pure anger from frustrations in life and rebellion towards fear and pain.