Help... fear of flying:(?

Hi Abigail,

Lilred already has given you very useful tips, which I mostly agree with. A couple more things:

- prepare early: today. Pack all your things, plan for the taxi to pick you up, etc. Do everything now so that the night before your flight, you can concentrate on yourself. That night, take a bath, pick up a riveting book (the type you know will suck you in - crime, romance, whatever), eat whatever appeals to you, whatever. That night is going to be hard, so don't make it harder and more traumatizing by leaving last-minute stress.

- Stop drinking coffee, tea, coke or red bull today. Caffeine works against you when you're trying to relax and avoid panic attacks.

- Defitinely obsess over an activity that's both fun and helps you focus. Crossword puzzles are my favorite, but people I've interviewed rank sudoku, other mind games, origami or reading very high. Every time a gloomy thought comes to your mind, pick your activity up and do it until your muscles relax.

- Don't breathe too deeply or too often (the only thing I disagreed with Lilred on). It's likely to set off a panic attack. Instead, use this technique:

The 1-6 Breathing Technique

"The 1-6 breathing technique:

Take a relaxed, 2-second breath in (no short, quick breaths nor exaggeratedly deep ones – abnormal breathing is the first step to panic attack, remember!). Pause for one second, and exhale for six. Actually count out loud 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6. Pause one second and repeat. This is our “normal” breathing rhythm when at rest, which fear has disrupted. Focus your attention back on it and on your watch or timer."

Finally, here is something for you to read and laugh for a few minutes. Hang in there, and good luck. Don't hesitate to write to me if you want over the next couple of days! I'm always happy to share other tricks.

"THE NIGHT BEFORE THE FLIGHT

For many fearful flyers, “the night before” does not sound like the title of a sexy romantic comedy. If “the night before” was a movie, it'd be up there on the horror shelf next to Halloween and Jaws.

For those who haven't had the pleasure of experiencing a frightful evening before a flight, here is what you've missed:

You leave work around 6 p.m. No, 7 p.m. Maybe even 8 p.m. In fact, you've waited until the security guard kicked you out, just to hang onto the feeling that no, the night before hasn't quite started yet. As long as you're at work, it's still the day before. You're safe. You'll never take that plane.

Now you're in your car, on the way home. In the same desperate attempt to delay the night, you stop by the grocery store, hit the gym, or go to a movie. That's the healthy way to deal with it. Some fearful flyers will head out for the nearest bar and start the long drinking binge that will only end after their 12-hour flight. Others, on the other hand, might rush home and bury themselves under their duvet, lights on, TV and radio blasting. I truly feel for those who have children to take care of. The first time I chatted with a fearful flyer who was also a parent is the first time I told myself that someone in this business had it worse than me.

If you've managed to eat dinner (and to keep it down), you now have two options:

Go to bed early and try to sleep – the longer you're passed out, the less you'll feel the pain.

Stay awake as long as possible, in the last attempt to remain in the “day before” (some of us push the denial that far!)

Whichever you choose, you lose. If you go to bed - unless you're loaded with sleeping pills - you lay there awake for hours, eyes frightfully staring at the ceiling (or crying like a baby.) A dark terror takes hold of you – some describe it as being sucked into a whirlpool in a stormy sea, others as not knowing whether they're asleep and having a nightmare. If you do fall asleep, you wake up every hour on the dot, screaming for your life (I've heard that's due to sleep cycles, but you really don't give a **** at that point.)

If you stay awake, you grow more and more tired, more and more on edge, and the day of the flight ends up just as catastrophic as if you had tried to sleep.

In all cases, you are CERTAIN that, tomorrow, you will die.

This is the key to understanding fearful flyers: they're not afraid to die in the plane. The night before the flight, they KNOW they'll die in the plane. There's no question about it, like 2+2=4 or George W Bush was a bad president. So, in essence, this is their last night. And nobody is there to grant them their last wish.

The night before is awesome."

Here are my top ten tips for the fearful flier.

1. Don’t conceal it. Tell the gate agent when you check in, the flight attendant when you board, and the passengers around you when you sit down. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and what you need is support, not added frustrations by suffering in silence. I know I make a special effort to check in on my fearful fliers several times during a flight.

2. Treat the turbulence like bumps in the road. Don’t tense up or fight it, but instead, let your body sway with the aircraft movements.

3. At check-in, ask for a seat at the very front of the cabin as possible. Turbulence is usually much greater in the back of the aircraft. If you have an extreme dread of flying, don’t try to overcome your fears on a long flight. Take the shortest flight you can and preferably in the biggest plane possible.

4. Keep distracted. Watch the movie even if it’s bad or you have seen it already. Read a book or do a crossword puzzle. Do anything that keeps your mind occupied and not dwelling on morbid possibilities.

5. There are various classes for those who are afraid to fly. In some cases the final test is an actual airplane flight. The courses used to be quite expensive, but now with fares being at an all-time low, I am sure the classes are less expensive as well.

6. Avoid coffee or other caffeine products as an overly hyper state of mind will only exacerbate your anxiety. But drink other liquids, as dehydration only contributes to the fear process. Some people recommend a glass of wine to calm the nerves, but don’t overdo it.

7. Listen to peaceful and calming music. Your mind tends to wander and hear sounds that either don’t exist or are perfectly normal flight noises.

8. The rubber band technique. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and if you feel yourself becoming agitated, snap the rubber band against your skin. Apparently, the pain is a reality bite, and takes the mind off the turbulence.

9. Avoid gory details. When an air disaster does occur, avoid the graphic details and overplay in the news media. It is important to be informed, but too much is too much.

10. Breathe deeply as often as you can, and remember that the sick bag in front of you can be used as an anti-hyperventilating device as well.

There is a free self-help audio assistance program that can be purchased and taken onboard with you. I have not heard it myself, but quite a few passengers I know swear by its effectiveness. For more information go to www.fearofflyinghelp.com.

An irrational fear of flying usually requires some sort of therapy to eliminate, which can be long and expensive. If you only fly occasionally, asking your doctor for a tranquilizer such as Xanax may be all you need. If you have to fly regularly, it might be worthwhile to go for therapy, which can be individual or in groups. There are many organizations that offer therapy sessions for a fear of flying, many of them associated with major airlines.

The pilot is trained to fly, the cockpit is impossible to get into from the cabin, there are routes for every plane to avoid collision, you fly above the stratosphere to be clear of storms, and I've flown plenty of times, I've even flown at night, and yet I'm still more than capable of answering this question. Trust. Me when I say to you that you'll be perfectly fine.

Not really... most people are scared until they get into the air... bring lots of things to do like a book, music or even coloring books (no matter how old u are). Bring a water bottle, a paper bag (just incase u panic), and bubble gum ( to help ur ears pop and pressure in ur head). Just remember to stay calm and know your safe.

Hypnotherapy is an excellent and fast treatment for fear of flying. In fact it's one of the simplest things to treat. Look for a trained, qualified hypnotherapist in your area. Phobias are a learned response and can be unlearned. Good luck!

Flying is by far the safest form of travelling.... More people are killed by hippos in one month than die in an entire years worth of flying. And bear in mind this is out of thousands of flights all over the world ever day... Bear this in mind and u will be fine I promise :D

I certainly have an apprehension of heights and flying was terrifying for me, yet you may't enable some worry give up you from taking section in existence. I now fly devoid of any worry in besides and you additionally can in case you only face your worry. The greater you fly the fewer frightening it is going to grow to be, so I say only bypass devoid of even questioning approximately it. The greater you think of approximately it the fewer prepared you would be to bypass. as quickly as you face this worry you would be waiting to rejoice with existence and function exciting including your husband. additionally, you do no longer % to take any pills, for the reason that which will in basic terms make your concept on flying each and all the greater serious. sturdy success to you and that i'm hoping you have exciting in Florida!

Yes, I used to be just like you and now I'm free from it. First of all, I used to take Xanax. Call your Dr. and get a prescription (tell him/her why). The more you fly, the more you'll get used to it. Flying is much, much safer than driving. Also, I trust God and I believe I will not die one minute too soon. :)