If you truly love something, set it free?

Question

Im a guy of 16 years old with a crush thats 14 years old.We started talking in April and as each month passed we talked more and more till the point we talked every other day. Then feelings grew and we had our first actual kiss on July 7th. I was her first. For the rest of the summer we kept talking alot and kissed 7 more times. We have nicknames for eachother, send hearts, buy gifts. In fact she is saving up money for a christmas gift for me. She admitted to liking me but the problem is we can't have each other. She has real strict parents and family members that wouldnt allow her to be in a relationship. Im perfectly fine with it, but the only issue I have with that is that I can't call her my "girlfriend". The thing that tears me up is that because we can't date, she doesnt want to feel like shes holding me back . So she basically tells me that I can go ahead and like and date other girls, just tell her before hand and to not feel bad if I do. She swears she isnt the jealous type but very mature for her age. She also says that "if you set something free and it comes back, then it's meant to be" but I thought that me refusing to date other girls is enough! I truly think Im in love with her but I dont know if she is in love with me. She says that I can do whatever I want and to let her be my home base. In other words, if something goes wrong to come to her for advice or if things just dont work out that I can run back to her and she will be there always waiting for me. But to me it's like what is the point of pushing me away if Im here right now. However she sees it as Im a young teenage boy and I should go out, experiment, and have fun. But I wanted to do all those things with her. Honestly I dont mind dating other girls, but I will feel like I wont be able to love them. I only love her so I don't want to date other girls and then break up with them and thus looking like a player. I told her if she finds a guy she likes and wants to date she can do that too, but then she says that I spoil her and no guy would be able to match up to me. I asked her if she was capable of waiting for our time and she said she is. She strongly believes in friendships so she says no matter what our friendship will withstand. She considers me her best friend and right after I told her about if shes capable of waiting we agreed to having another kiss the following weekend. Honestly Im still having an emotional time trying to stomach all of this because shes the first girl that I really did love. No serious puppy love but for real. What do I do? Do I keep my feelings alive for her and wait although she keeps saying I dont have to, or do I just forget about her? We had a convo about this a few times and she said that although she would be hurt to just let her know. She tells me how her parents went through the same thing. They were friends in high school, dated other people and realized they were for one another later on.

Oracle · Accepted Answer

N'aww that's beautiful!

Young love! If you're actually contemplating forgetting about her and you have no qualms with seeing other girls then by the sounds of things her love is unconditional and your love... is .... different. She sounds amazing and if you're serious about this girl then wait. It's your life and your decision, don't let other people dictate that you should go out and experiment and to be honest you shouldn't even be taking advice from people who don't know you as a person and don't know the other girl as a person, people answering on Yahoo! can only tell you what they would do in your situation, and in most cases it won't be the right thing to do. It sounds like she's in denial about her feelings toward you, she tells you to go and date other girls and she'll wait for you, she's honestly being too good but it will hurt her severely. If you're telling her to date other guys and you honestly "don't mind dating other girls" then you should really question your feelings toward her? You do love her but is it family love or romantic love? They're two very different feelings and if you both share a love but a different form of love, somebody is going to get hurt.

? · Answer

The same happened to me. She's just scared of you being older. Tell her you don't mind waiting for her. That you will be a strong pillar that will take care of her in any possible situation. You just have to let her know that you'll do anything for her. If you think you can't do that much then just give up. In my case I was so close, but one day her mom saw me... That threw us way back. And then she moved to another school, so yeah its kinda sad. I used to hear her say she that she liked me but that I was three years older. At that moment she was eight grade and I eleventh. Just be honest to your feelings and don't give up. 

In the end just be honest, if she's acting mature for her age than just overpass that and be even more mature bro. Let her know you're the only you in the world and her perfect match. 

PS;
Little details count do something you know she'll like but never expected you'd do. That always work.

? · Answer

Well, i think because of her parents etc. she feels really bad that she's holding you back like she said, you just need to show her she's not holding you back, and that you have no desire for experimentation, you don't care about all that, you care about the quality of the bond between you both. It's like when you're young, you want lots of friends, as you grow older, you just want true friends. And it's similiar because you don't want lots of flings with other girls, you just want one relationship which you feel holds a true worth, and sincere love to it. Tell her you don't want her to bear all your issues by running to her when you need her, but also at the same time want to let her have you to talk to when she needs help, to share your problems together

Hope i helped you both :)

Anonymous · Answer

If you are I love with her than its stupid to go date other girls. It's not fair to the you or the other girl. And that "set it free" thing is retarded. You set wild animals free, not people. We aren't monkeys in the jungle. We need each other. That's why we have families and marriage and all that other stuff. You aren't doing anyone any favors by dating them if you are in love with someone else. What if the girl you date falls in love with you? Is it fair for you to go around ripping out girls hearts because you can't love them back? Don't date until you are over this girl. Or with her.

εʟızαвεтн.♥ · Answer

If you feel like you love her, prove it to her and be devoted to her. Eventually her parents cant tell her if she can date or not, and if you truly love her youll still be there waiting for her and you two can be together. Hope this helps and answer mine please?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkKuio5uEZjJuj4I0Zmvbt3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20121003131530AAVySEo

Lydia · Answer

Its up to you if you want to wait for her. I got tired of waiting for the guy i STILL like but its up to you really. Answer mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121003133702AARl4vz

Anonymous · Answer

My faith in humanity is restored. 14 and you was her first. Thats scarce nowadays

Anonymous · Answer

seems she is a keeper bro, stick to her for now n for as long as no one else comea into either of yor life....be there :)

meanddave · Answer

being in love is hard-------------we just have 2 keep our heads up----and hope--   it sounds stupid but its true---------------

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If you truly love something, set it free?

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