Whom do you consider queer?

Question

Don't get me wrong, I understand that the official designation is "anyone who considers themselves to be outside of the heteronormative and cisgender framework," but do you honestly think of it that way?  If someone said the word "queer," would you have any particular image in your mind?  I feel like anyone who isn't simply "gay" can't properly exist, which I suppose I'm fine with.  I used to consider myself asexual, but I'm reconsidering that, even though I still have no interest in sex.  (Choosing a label confines you, and that one leaves you with no options at all.  I want to be open-minded to every possibility.)  I've also always thought of myself as genderqueer/gender neutral, but I'm fine with being thought of as male, as long as you don't expect me to play the part well.

I suppose what I'm saying is that I don't fit in anywhere, which is fine; I never have and I'm content that way, but I'm curious about exactly what the labels I halfheartedly choose might convey to other people.  If you don't know me, and I say that I'm "queer" and nothing else, how do you think of me?

It's never been a big deal, because I have a lot more going on than just my gender and sexuality, but it is a part of me that I'd like to explore and play with more.  Forgive me if this post sounds confused or ranting.

? · Accepted Answer

I see it as just that, someone who is keeping their options open and using a vague term as a means to openly explore identity without the restriction of a label. Perhaps it's only because I use the term too for both sexuality and gender. I doubt it would convey the same message to someone who does not use the term themselves though; so it's bittersweet=]

? · Answer

In my mind, the word "queer" brings up the stereotypical gay person, either a very masculine female or a very feminine male. I don't necessarily agree with those stereotypes, but it just seems that's how the word is often used. Originally, it was just a word meaning strange, different, or out of the ordinary. Now, people use it more harshly. Because of that, I would never call someone "queer."

Anonymous · Answer

I have a friend who considers herself genderqueer.. she's physically female and married with kids but has realized she's basically asexual.  I would think of her because that's a label she has chose, but I'm of the generation that will always see "queer" as a pejorative. I don't often use it.

Tree-Geek · Answer

Queer to me is a catch-all term for anyone in the LGBTIQ (and all other designations) community.

I am also genderqueer with a male leaning identity in a female form.

I tend to just say "queer" to define myself too.

? · Answer

Queer to me is a synonym for strange. I don't consider the homo/bi sexual community strange

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Whom do you consider queer?

5 Answers