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How to deal with a friend that "goes neo-Nazi"?
I have friend that had her purse stolen at a club one night by (her words) two black men. Okay, fine. Whatever. Stuff happens and sometimes they suck.
After it happened, she started dropping a LOT of racist and classist remarks regarding poor people (who, apparently, are all thieves -- or would still if given the chance) and n**gers even though she's half-black (black and Puerto Rican) and grew up in a relatively poor area. And, as a black person that's not exactly wealthy ("broke college student" here), I took offense.
I've known her since we were in elementary school. I know her family, she knows mine, and we've grown up together (sandbox, junior high, boy drama, college, work, etc.) and she's never been this way around me but she apparently has this habit of doing/saying things like that when she's around white people. It makes me really uncomfortable and she's said that she'd never do that around me again.
Doing it arond me isn't the problem, though. The problem is that she's saying racist, self-loating remarks about people because her purse got stolen (or whenever she's upset). How do I deal with a friend like that? Should I sit her down and talk to her about it or what?
I'm all for people having their own opinions and that you have the right to do that but come on! Your purse being stolen or getting cut off in traffic by someone who looks differently than you is no reason to go on these tirades against an entire community of people! It was just so surprising and off-putting that I had to leave her dorm room because of it.
What should I do?
3 Answers
- 9 years ago
Don't try to confront her. She will only get defensive. Just tell her straight out you don't want to be friends with someone who is being a racist tool, because she is. I mean it in the best possible way, but it sounds like she's only doing it around her white friends, and she's getting attention.
- 9 years ago
I'd honestly sit her down and talk to her about it calmly. If that doesn't work, explain it to her more aggressively, like the last paragraph of your question, or something around the lines of, "One day, you're gonna say the wrong remark to the wrong person and you could get injured or even killed".
- Anonymous9 years ago
The N word is often considered to be a similar term to deadbeat, lowlife etc.
Classist is not wrong if you're being violated by the lower class