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? asked in HealthMental Health · 9 years ago

How do I help my depressed friend?

I have a very special and close friend to me who is going through a lot in her life. It seems like things have not been going well since her grandmother's passing in 2008. A lot of other negative things have happened since then: letting good friends go, constantly being taken advantage of because of her being nice to others, a sister who continues to put her through hell, bad relationships, and earlier this year, her mother was diagnosed with cancer. She has been very depressed for the last few years. I try the best I can to keep her in high spirits, but with all that's been happening to her, she is in a deep depression. I wish I could be there for her more, but unfortunately, she lives in Georgia and I live in Missouri. I feel like just calling her isn't enough, even though we talk everyday. She has even talked about running away from the problems, or worse than that, completely giving up on life and committing suicide. She believes in God, but says that she is so frustrated with Him for allowing these things to happen, particularly with what's going on with her mother, the only real family she has left. I don't know what else I can do for her. I am very worried about her mental state. If anyone has any advice on what to do, please offer. Any and all help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

2 Answers

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  • Rod
    Lv 5
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well first and foremost you are the life raft, you must be strong and secure. Clearly you have been. But 2008 is a long time ago.

    You are not actually responsible for her life but I read that you feel very responsible and wish her life were different.

    What would you do in her shoes? Well I recon you would have faced up to things, made decisions and moved on.

    She has not, all you can do is show what normal is, be normal, talk normal and allow her to have moments of feeling normal and having normal relationships.

    Having a normal person in your life is very grounding and very calming. So keep doing what you are doing just don't ever feel ultimately responsible, you are being a friend and friends are honest, brutally honest some times, but always well respected.

    Don't loose perspective, be normal, smile, listen, advise but never ever feel the pressure she feels cause you know that isn't normal. She is inventing some of the pressure, perhaps sometimes to get your attention? She is loosing friends? See both sides. The more honest you can be the better for both of you.

    I just get the subtle hint you are being teased out and your good nature gently abused.

  • 9 years ago

    Visit them and cheer them up! take them out.. cinema, beach, just a walk anything just make them laugh!

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