Why is it wrong to want some of my husband's time?

Last summer, my husband was away for two months for National Guard duty. After the first week, he suddenly decided we needed smart phones so we went and got them when he was on leave for a couple days. He then spent the rest of the time he was gone posting stuff and being answered by a female who was "working" with him. When he came home, he had "stuff that has to be taken care of" and was constantly on the phone from the time he came in the door until we went to bed. Of course, he conveniently couldn't tell me what happened. From what I could gather, a male under his command did something inappropriate to his female and he had to follow up to make sure the discipline procedures were completed. I understand that is his job. But that is his job. It does not require being on the phone for 6-8 hours a day after the work day is over. He would literally get out of my car (his vehicle broke down and we couldn't yet afford a new one) with his phone to his ear, walk in the door without a word to me and go straight to the basement and be on the phone for hours. After it was taken care of, he started spending too much time with this female and got very involved with her family to the point that he knows what type of lung cancer her mom has, how her grandma is handling her surgery, and her dad's favorite poker game. The excuse was he was "trying to help her military career" by getting her a job working with him. When I got angry because he was talking to her more than me, he got angry at me and said I was the one who had a problem. He once posted on his Facebook page something like "It's like holding your heart on my finger" with (her name). It is supposedly a line from some movie they saw together. But I thought it was still inappropriate for a married man to be posting so much and that kind of stuff with another woman. My sister in law saw it too and thought the same thing, then he deleted it to make it look like I was making stuff up. She would be texting him until 11:30 p.m. and start again at 4:30 a.m. But he kept saying that since nothing was going on, I was wrong to be upset. Since she got a boyfriend, the texting has suddenly stopped and the Facebooking is at a bare minimum. Now I'm pissed because I imagine that the boyfriend found their involvement inappropriate and they stopped for him, but they still say I'm wrong for finding it inappropriate. He had to leave again this Monday and spent half an hour on the phone with her Sunday night since she's away for training and he hasn't seen her at work for a week and won't see her for a couple more weeks. Why was I wrong for wanting a little bit of his time Sunday night before I went to work and he left for two weeks? I really want someone to tell me I am wrong and why I am wrong.