Which is better: Laird of Glencoe or Lord of Sealand?

The Laird of Glencoe relates to a recognised part of the UK but the title is not recognised by the state. On the other hand, the Lord of Sealand is recognised by the leaders of Sealand, but Sealand is not recognised by other nations and its territory is claimed by the UK. Therefore I would suggest that the Lord of Sealand title has slightly more legitimacy but the two titles are probably worth about the same as each other.

1. The titles Lord or Laird (in Scotland they are the same thing - it means something along the lines of 'landed gentleman') are not royal, but descriptive titles simply meaning that the titled person owns land.

2. There is no such thing as the Principality of Sealand - it is an abandoned coastal fort in the UK, and therefore, no such thing as a lord (or prince or lady or knight) of it. Whilst possibly a bit of fun, it is meaningless.

3. You can only become a Laird by buying a Scottish estate. By buying a 'souvenir plot' in Glencoe you are entitled you to call yourself Laird of Glencoe and you designate yourself as a supporter of the Highland Titles Charitable Trust and the nature reserves that they maintain.

4. In either case, you would would receive some attractive documentation because this is normally sold as a gift. But the Sealand money goes to pay for... well whoever is selling it (and their lifestyle). But the Laird of Glencoe money goes to charity.

5. And you can have a lot of fun claiming to anyone else that you're a real lord and giving yourself airs. Just remember that at some point it would be a good idea to admit that your estates extend to just 12 inches and smile! ;-)

1. The titles Lord and Laird (which is not the same thing as 'Lord' at all - it means something along the lines of 'landed gentleman') aren't royal. They aren't even 'royal-sounding' except to the very ignorant.

2. There is no such thing as the Principality of Sealand, and therefore, no such thing as a lord (or prince or lady or knight) of it.

3. You can only become a Laird by buying an entire historical Scottish estate. You could only call yourself 'Laird of Glen X' if you owned the whole of Glen X; there cannot, by definition, be more than one Laird of Glen X at a time. The claim that buying a 'souvenir plot' in Glencoe entitles you to call yourself Laird of Glencoe is absurd (and, of course, insulting to all real lairds).

4. In either case, you would be paying a scam merchant for a tackily-decorated piece of parchmentstating a lot of nonsense. If your ego really isn't complete without such a piece of parchment, why bother paying some internet thief for it? If you have a colour printer and a piece of parchment you could design and print one yourself for nothing!

5. But don't attempt to claim to anyone else that you're a real lord and start giving yourself airs on it, or you might find your ego, and possibly your nose, taking some nasty knocks.

I wouldn't bother with either one. They're both meaningless.

However, the Sealand title does have a certain funny whimsicality to it, if that's important to you.

Sealand, dear boy. One would hardly wish oneself to be associated with a murderous massacre, now would one?