Raider Duck

I'm visiting Manhattan with a friend in a couple of weeks for a weekend, and given what the weather is likely to be (mid-50s), shorts and a hockey jersey will probably be comfortable: yes, I know that I'll totally look like a tourist, but since I AM a tourist, I don't mind. Anyway, she (who is not into sports) sees nothing wrong with wearing a Philadelphia Flyers jersey around Manhattan. I think I'd be asking for a beatdown (or at least a lot of middle fingers). Who's right?

I've decided that my life (or at least my ego) will not be complete without a royal (or royal-sounding) title, but I'm torn between Laird (Lord) of Glencoe or Lord of Sealand. They're about the same price. Which is better?

A) The requirement to cover pre-existing conditions,

B) The prohibition against dropping sick patients,

C) The prohibition against lifetime benefit maximums,

D) The elimination of the Part D coverage "gap,"

E) The capping of deductibles, or

F) The expansion of Medicaid?

Remember that the insurance purchasing requirement has (for now) been thrown out by a federal judge.

A) Rabbits chewing their cud

B) Spiders with six legs

C) Talking snakes

D) Talking donkeys

E) A flood covering the entire Earth, and then draining away without a trace.

What were there names? Where are their direct statements available?

Or, as the gospels weren't named until centuries after they were written, are we just taking some anonymous author's word for it?