Wrong diagnosis? Am i mad?

I don't think any of us are qualified to diagnose here but people seem to get the idea that depression means that you are sad, crying all the time. I wasn't really like that, I had closed off my feelings and a lot of the time felt numb, like no emotion - I didn't realize it at the time but can see now that it was depression, connected with low self esteem. I also self harmed and did many things as a form of self punishment, a lot of self destructive behavior. A lot of the time it may not have seemed self-caused but often it was because I had put myself in a certain situation - sometimes with a conscious awareness, sometimes just going ahead and thinking later 'Why did I allow that to happen?'

'Normal' is a very subjective term and I think that a lot of us have thoughts we think are a bit crazy but they can be more common than we think they are. I used to go to a support group and listen to other people's stories - and I was amazed to hear so many other people describe feelings so similar to my own, feelings I thought were so weird I thought I was alone with them. That's the point - you're not alone. Please try to find someone to talk to, and get the depression problem treated because I spent a long time just trying to 'live with it' instead of getting help, put myself through a lot of unnecessary difficulty thereby.

A lot of times I thought there must be something seriously wrong with me, but it was nothing more than depression and very negative self perception. I learned to stop being so hard on myself and to gain more self acceptance as I got older - I don't have to be perfect all the time, how I was created is good enough. It's a process though and it doesn't start getting better right away. It may take several weeks to start feeling the benefits of medication and they aren't a 'fix all', you have to be willing to look at some of the emotional causes of what you are feeling. The medication though can help lift the cloud so that you can begin that process more effectively. There is no 'cure' for depression out there but it can be treated and managed quite well these days so that you have an improved quality of life.

Don't worry - you're not a psycho. Just pretty depressed and frustrated and with very low self esteem. It also seems your self worth has taken a battering to the point that you expect the worst all the time.

Find some good, positive friends. Listen to positive, motivational music all day. Realize that you are more than nothing. Talk to others on Yahoo! Answers. We are here to help.

Best of luck to you :)

Hey there.

You are normal!

I went through something similar. And although it took 6 weeks for the anti-depressants to kick in, it was worth it.

Try talking to someone close to you about how you feel.

This won't last forever I promise.

Depression affects 9/10 people at some point in their life. However if you think you might kill yourself, please seek professional help!

If you ever want to talk I'm a pretty good listener, and I know what you're going through (I just don't feel like sharing it on YA haha).

:) xxx