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How would I describe a side table in a bedroom?
Hey guys so I'm trying to write a short 6-8 page fiction piece for an assignment. It's supposed to be completely concrete and have absolutely no abstract stuff in it. I'm having a bit of trouble describing the bedroom that my two characters are siting in, especially with how to describe the side table. Can someone help me out a bit?
This is what I roughly have so far:
Blue walls, a deep turquoise blue. On the walls hang little paintings, with inspiring quotes on them. A single bed against the window, a green shag rug. On it sit a guy and a girl, huddled around a laptop with coffee cups in their hand, leaning against the bed. A mirror hangs, on the adjacent side of the room, framed with faded pictures and old memories. In the mirror, a reflection can be seen, of the study table, cluttered with books, medals and trophies as if to hide the girl’s various accomplishments. The boy reaches over to the dark oak side table beside him, slowly sliding his fingers across the smooth surface, stopping now and then to touch the various trinkets that sit atop it. The girl watches as his mouth contorts into a soft smile before he turns his bright blue eyes around to face her. The girl She lifts up a slender finger to flick the long, black locks of hair out of her face. The charm bracelet on her arm jingles. Goosebumps can be seen on her bare arms – below her white lace cardigan. Below her white lace cardigan, goosebumps. The guy shuffles over and reaches back for his grey sweater and swiftly puts it around the girl’s shoulder.
The girl reaches over with her blood red painted nails and hits the green triangle on the screen. The screen goes blank and her shoulder tenses. Slowly, as the music begins, she relaxes back against the bed. A movie starts playing on screen – a trailer really . The guy glances over at her and they grin at each other. He slowly brings the cup of scalding hot coffee to his lips as he carefully watches colour rise up to her cheeks as she blushes and look away.
The music stops, the screen goes blank as the movie on screen ends. They look at each other, almost simultaneously it seems. The wheels turn – in their head - as they both come up with the same idea. Slowly, the girl reaches over to her side table and picks up the piece of paper with the project details. She holds up the paper and carefully starts reading; the boy follows her eyes as they scan the piece of paper. She looks up slowly as a grin spreads across her beautiful face, putting her pearly white teeth on full display.
Let me know what you guys think of it as well, should I make any changes? Is it boring? Is it okay? What should I do to make it better?
2 Answers
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
The walls were painted soft pascal yellows and pinks they reflected he gentle nature of its occupant.
They stared intently at the buzzing screen. Heads so close they were almost touching. Coffee cups all but forgotten about were held aloft.
she scans her notes. A dent appears in betwween her eyebrows which are furrowed in concentration.she glances up briefly and notices him watching her. Blushing prettily she ducks her head allowing her thick hair to fall forward and hide her face as she immerses her self in her notes once again.
through the sparse lace of her cardigan he notices goose bumbs on her arms he scoops up the grey hoodie he had abanded across the end of her bed and tucks it around her shoulders. She smiles greatfully at his act of chivalry
She reaches out to tap the play button with a scarlet painted nail. Then pulls the hoodie more securely around her shoulders.
- Anonymous5 years ago
white walls ('reason i lease and would't paint), a queen length mattress on a field spring w/ a cream colored dirt ruffle, brick pink sheets, a million pillows, 2 motorcycles leaning via the wall. a t.v. on a black t.v. stand, a dismal brown chest of drawers with a field fan sitting on suited and my rings bins, a cherry timber evening stand and an gruesome brown formica evening stand, vertical blinds, some framed p.c.. superb inclusive of my wedding ceremony photo and a huge eco-friendly banner it really is is a few type of irish flag (my husband's), a status lamp, somewhat old nightstand lamp, a shoe rack, a huge wicker abate, a digital radio alarm clock and a small white candle. in different words, a mish-mosh of unrivaled stuff.