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? asked in Education & ReferenceQuotations · 8 years ago

How can I modify this thesis statement to make it better?

"Immigrants should be allowed to cross the border and become citizens without worry of deportation?

I am writing an argumentative essay and I want to convey the point that Immigration laws should be reformed and not as oppressing

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Maybe " immigrants should be worry free of deportation when crossing the border and becoming citizens"

    I would play around with mixing the words around. Say it outloud to see if it rolls right

    Source(s): 9th and half a 10th grade writing class
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I think that it is pretty good. If you are worried about vocal, you could change allowed to permitted

  • dicovi
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    That sounds good to me.

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