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Lv 4
? asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 8 years ago

Do you like my story? *filler*?

There was once a land where all the people were of shadows and of light. The children learned to work together in school. The shadows were to do everything good but the light always did it better. The meritocracy and bad of the shadows brought out the good and awesomeness in the light. One young shadow didn't want to be a shadow though. The shadow wasn't a real shadow because the shadow was a lighter shadow but the shadow could never shine and be real light. The shadow tried with all it's might to shine. No matter how much they tried things always came easier to the light and was always better. Nothing the shadow did could ever compete with that of the light. Broken and bitter the shadow faded gray. The light around it seemed less bright and sickly. The shadow only wanted to shine but all it could do was dim or make others shine. The shadow grew dark and black and the light around the shadow shone with the intensity the shadow had always wanted to posses. The shadow sought to destroy the light and become more powerful. When the light was unaware and being bathed in warm praise the shadow crept in around the light cutting it off and slowly seeping it's presence from the world. Slowly the world began to darken as the other shadows grew from the absence of so much light. Without the light there would only be a world of darkness and balance would tip. The shadows began to bbarricadethe dark shadow from the light feeding light into the dark iignitinglife and flame. The dark shadow began to sputter and weaken turning lighter and lighter uuntilthe shadow was very weak almost overcome by light. Still the shadow did not accept it's fate of being of shadow and was overcome by the light. The story of the shadow who wanted to shine had been told to the light and the shadows for years after so that none wwouldtry to break and bend fate and try to make the light into darkness and the shadow into light. What shines and brings light will always bring light unless killed by shadow and what is shadowed and dark will always be so unless eengulfedin the light. Shadow can not be light or it is no more, as light can not be shadow or it too no longer is there.

Update:

I have not edited the spelling errors for this yet :P (was super early when I wrote this and posted this question) I would like some feedback on if you would like more of a story (meaning is you think I should continue with this) because this could either be a prologue or a short story.

Update 2:

I have not edited the spelling errors for this yet :P (was super early when I wrote this and posted this question) I would like some feedback on if you would like more of a story (meaning is you think I should continue with this) because this could either be a prologue or a short story.

Update 3:

i would also like some feedback on the style of writing and if you like the story or do a pros and cons list (besides spelling :P) about what you liked and what you didnt like please!

5 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    This is great, and it seems to be a sort of reflection of reality in that some things cannot change, or else they no longer exist as they are now something new. This was a wonderful read. The only criticism would be spelling, but like you said in the details, you haven't checked yet, so all in all this is wonderful.

  • 8 years ago

    Yes, I can answer yours, thank you for answering mine! ;)

    It sounds pretty interesting and sort of symbolic, which gives another different kind of perspective to it! Write on!

  • 8 years ago

    that's so cool, i like how you explained it like a story book fairy tale. i like the whole concept, its so innocent and emotion builds to the bad. kinda like a world war starting with two kids arguing in the sandbox.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    yes although I would check for spelling errors. but other than that it's all good

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  • 8 years ago

    i like the line up and richness. its great work but obviously needs editing. but you already knew that :)

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