Do the police press charges for abuse or does the victim have to if its an adult?

Most states have domestic violence laws that allow the police to press charges in a case where it's believed one or both "spouses" are at fault in the domestic incident.

The police don't have to be the ones who press charges because the victim is able to do the same just as easily.

However, as you say some spouses are afraid to press charges for fear of what may happen when their offending spouse returns home from jail. As such the laws have changed where even though most cases are misdemeanor offenses occurring when the officer was NOT present...the officer may weigh the circumstances and make the misdemeanor arrest to take the pressure off the victim.

Recently, I responded to a similar situation where the "unborn baby's daddy" and mother were verbally arguing when mother hit "father." The problem was made worse when the father pushed the mother while she was nine months pregnant with their child. Although both showed visible signs of minor injuries and both could have gone to jail...only the male was taken due to the mothers pregnant status.

Both in the incident have gone to court with the case being settled by the judge. Both are together again trying to make their relationship work.

The police do not press charges. the district attorney does. If evidence of a crime is submitted to the police they investigate. The DA decides to file charges or not. The victim may choose not to testify but if there is enough other evidence the DA can still pursue the case.

The police press charges

No lawyer here but I know in my country if someone is injured seriously enough (Grevious bodily harm) the police have to press charges even if the victim doesn't want to