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Marriage is not so great anymore..........any thoughts to help us?
My husband and I have been married for 6 and half years and have 2 beautiful daughters together. The past 3 months have been extremely difficult. We dont really fight but we dont talk anymore. I love him but Im not overly happy with the way things are. We dont really have sex anymore and when we do it feels like we are going through the motions there is no "spark" there anymore. I feel like all I do is cook, clean and tend to kids. He works more than full time, his job requires him to travel a lot and work a lot of overtime. When he is here we dont spend time together. We both agree we need to work on things but we dont know how or where to start. I feel like we have grown so far apart and dont know if we can get things back on the right track. I suggested that we take a break from our marriage and see if that helps to be apart for awhile and he was very against that. I want to make my marriage work but we have never had any sort of problem like this. He said that he just wanted things to be the way they used to be but that wont happen because neither of us are the same people we used to be.
If any of you can help point me in the right direction as to help us get started because I dont know what to do from here.
3 Answers
- 8 years ago
You should start taking time to be alone together. Try to get a babysitter for a few hours some weekend while your husband will be home and go to a restaurant and talk or go for a walk or something to that effect so that you two can talk again. I've always been told it's a good idea to take your spouse on a date a couple times a month (every week if possible) so that you two have the chance to get away for a few hours and spend time alone together to remember why you fell in love. If you can't afford a babysitter, ask a family member for the favor or a friend who also has kids. Best of luck!
- ?Lv 68 years ago
He's right, taking a break is kinda risky, I wouldn't suggest it. Just know that what you are going through is NORMAL, I can guarantee it was bound to happen eventually and the hardest part will be pulling yourselves out of it and connecting again.
If it were me, my marriage, I'd do some marriage counseling. My hubs and I went to precounseling before marriage and you'd really be surprised the things you are able to get off your chest, the things you can open up about that you haven' been able to for a while, things like that. it can really help.
But remember that loving someone is a choice, you have to choose to keep loving them. If you decide counseling isn't for oyu...try sitting down and writing down all the things you love about him, or miss about him or the days you two really connected. Take a trip down memory lane, some of your best times together.
- ?Lv 68 years ago
U fallen into the kids, jobs, mortgage stressed out no time left for the best friend I still am in love with but just feel empty and unhappy. U need to become the friends u were, date each other and get involved in each others lifes again as a couple. U should try joint marriage counseling, i wouldn't just throw in the towel unless its over in ur heart. Good luck.
