I need help with my English essay , Please help me with.?

One day, I was at church and I heard Wancy’s family requested (change it to "that Wancy's family requested" or "Wancy's family request". Requested is past tense request is present tense.) a pray ("Pray" is the verb form of the word. You want the noun form, which is "prayer") for him because he was planning on coming to (add "the" before USA) USA and the journey would be hard. ( December 2002). (Rather than putting the month and year after the sentence, it would sound better if you said "One day in December 2002") Everybody was really sad ("Everyone was very sad" sounds better than "Everybody was really sad") because they all liked Wancy pretty much (say "very much" not "pretty much") and he was leaving them. I went through a hard time that day, (because?) he was one of my best friends and somebody I could always count with. ("count on" not "count with") Time went by, and his family was always telling me about (how?) he was doing in ("on" not "in") his way to (add "the" here) United States. I really felt lonely and sad, (no comma there, either add "and" or make it a separate sentence) I know I was missing somebody really important in my life. My relationship with his family didn’t (don't use contractions in an essay) change at all and I was still going to the school his (add "with") Carina his sister. (Add a comma after "Carina" and before "his sister". That's an appositive and always requires a comma.

Hope this helps. English is my first language, but I'm learning Latin so I know how difficult it can be at first to keep all the expressions and tenses strait.

One day, I was at church and i heard Wancy’s family request a prayer for him as he was planning on venturing to the USA, the journey would be long and exhausting. ( December 2002). Everybody was really sad to hear he would be leaving as they all liked Wancy and would definitely miss him. I went through a hard time that day, he was one of my best friends and somebody I could always count on to help me and be there for me. I really felt lonely and sad. As time went by, his family always informed me about how he was doing in the USA and i knew that I was missing somebody really important in my life. My relationship with his family didn’t change at all and I was still going to attend the school his sister, Carina went to. So I always knew there would be a part of him with me.

:) hope that's okay

One day, I was at church and heard Wancy’s family request a prayer for him because he was planning on coming to USA and the journey would be hard. (December 2002). Everyone was very depressed, because they all liked Wancy a lot and he was leaving them. I went through a hard time that day; he was one of my best friends and somebody I could always count with. Time went by, and his family was always telling me about he was doing on his way to United States. I really felt lonely and sad; I know I was missing somebody very important in my life. My relationship with his family didn't change at all and I was still going to the same school as his sister Carina.

I write officially while i write my essays, so sure and as i've an individual instructor in english she tells me to write down it officially so sure , i suppose you need to write it officially!