does my girlfriend have issues?

Question

I've known my girlfriend for almost two years and we've been dating for 1.5 years. 
Shes 19 years old and lives in america. Shes from Brazil, moved to Portugal when she was 15, and then to america when she was 17. Her real father lives in Brazil and she hasnt seen him in almost 6 years. Her mother moved to Switzerland at the beginning of this year with her step father. My girlfriends family only consists of her mother, father, brother, step father, step sister, and her step fathers family. Shes never had cousins, aunts or uncles, grandparents or anything like that. Her mother moved to Portugal when my GF was 13 years old and stayed there for 2 years. She got married to her step father, and then they brought my GF and her brother to Portugal. My GF said that they moved because Brazil is a terrible country. I think it may have something to do with it than just being because Brazil is bad. They came to America for education, and then her mother moved to Switzerland because her mother has a friend that lives there. 
My girlfriend said that her mother and father met when her mother was just 18 and she dropped out of high school to be with him. He was 45 years old and taught her mother alot of things. They supposedly lived together for a long time but never got married. They split when my girlfriend was just 6 years old. Her parents sold clothes to various clients in Brazil. They traveled alot and moved around alot. My GF said that she had been to various schools there because of moving around so much and that because of this she never made that many friends in her 19 years of living and that shes basically a loner. She said that her father was in and out of her life, and that her mother practically raised her on her own. Her mother is 45 now and her father is 72. 
My girlfriend has issues and even admitted to them. She always seems timid and insecure. She always just wants to be reassured but does it by hinting. She goes against me in everything I say. Shes always over analytical and everything to her has another meaning. Shes always questioning everything in existance. Her mind is always thinking. It gets to the point where she gets rational, untolerant, harsh, and cold... but in her own "way". She cant restrict to any levels of reasoning with me. Theres always a justified stupid reason why she cant. Some brainiac excuse that is so stupid and makes no sense. Shes sensitive to rejection and does everything to protect herself. Her pride and ego kicks in and derails any bit of reasoning that I try. She avoids everything even when she admits I'm right. Shes full of contradictions. She molds herself to whoever she talks to and she cant be herself because shes too busy trying to be accepted by people. Shes admitted that other people dont like her, and she doesnt like herself. I finally told her that the way she is was because of her past and because her father was in and out of her life and that its because shes insecure because she has a weak foundation... except I said it in a more cold harsh way. She cried when I explained it, but afterwards came to me and admitted that everything I said was right and that her ego and protections kick in. She started becoming clingy because of this. She has alot of good things about her and shes been nothing but loyal towards me, but I think some things arent inherent. I think shes trying so hard to better herself but just ends up contradicting herself. She went through a bout of depression a year ago but I think still shes depressed and has some sort of anxiety. She loves reading books and always reads things on wikipedia. She can go for hours learning random things. I think she either has way too much time on her hands, or this is just a way for her to avoid herself, or because maybe she feels smart to be able to learn random things. In school she isnt so good and isnt discplined. She used to skip class in high school and now shes in University but doesnt study. She was late for class two times this year so far. But she seems to be doing okay. Shes admitted that she looks up to me and that she wanted me to be her role model but when I tried to help her, she just kept saying that I was trying to be her savior.... shes stubborn and wont listen to anything. Shes cried I dont 

I consider myself to be a good guy. Me and her have way different backgrounds but we have similarities. I consider myself to be intelligent/smart. I'm straight-forward and honest. I can be selfish and stubborn. I'm very easy-going and relaxed. I act silly and say stupid random things. I dont like debating or pushing my opinions off on other people. Its my personality. I dont question things too much in this world and I just live by instinct and what I feel is right.

00CarpathiA · Accepted Answer

The fact that you’re even bothering to post this entire story on Yahoo! Tells me that you obviously care a lot for your GF and you’re probably desperate for some answers by now and perhaps a fresh approach to things will help. Another perspective from which things can be looked at
There are obviously some HUGE differences between you and your GF. But perhaps there isn’t anything mentally wrong with her, maybe this is just the way she is? 
It’s entirely possible that, even if she had had a normal childhood, she would have still grown up to be an introverted, analytical, slightly insecure individual who likes being alone, reading and thinking. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with being that way. 

I recently read a book about different personality types 'PERSONALITY PLUS' by Florence Littauer based on Hippocrates's theory of the Four Temperaments. The system classifies the four personality groups of "Choleric", "Melancholy", "Sanguine", and "Phlegmatic". 
The 4 Temperaments are as follows:
1) Powerful Choleric - are considered to be leader and commander types, being dominant, strong, decisive, and occasionally arrogant.
2) Perfect Melancholy - personality types are described to be the mental types, introverts with their personality displaying a strong emphasis on thinking, evaluation, and assessment.
3) Popular Sanguine - are a social personality type, displaying characteristics such as a predisposition to socialize and entertain.
4) Peaceful Phlegmatic - are described as having a stable personality, being laid back and desiring a peaceful environment above all else.
(Read more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality…

Can you see where I’m going with this?

I’ve composed a list of all the things you mentioned about her and then, using my knowledge of the 4 temperaments, I ordered every trait into one of the four. Since Yahoo! is limiting the anount of characters I can use I have to (unfortunately) cut the results and skip right to my conclusions. Here is what I came up with:

Your GF scored VERY high on PERFECT MELANCHOLY and average on POWERFUL CHOLERIC. 
(Here's a link to a site that offers a free test you can do online to get a more accurate result)
http://www.mysticscripts.com/personality-test/personality-plus/

Perhaps the reason you’re having trouble understanding her is not because there’s anything wrong with either of you, but maybe its simply because you’re so different from each other.
She ENJOYS being alone, thinking and analyzing etc. You need to realize that she doesn’t do this intentionally or on purpose, it’s just her natural instinct.
For example: When you say something, you mean exactly what you say. Nothing more, nothing less. She, on the other hand, is naturally suspicious of people and therefore (without even realizing) she carefully examines and analyzes every word you say. She then draws her own conclusions based on her findings and this can sometimes be miles from what you really meant. This is why she is easily offended and insecure, because she’s over-cautious, and really believes that the world is out to get her. There’s nothing wrong with being this way, you just need to learn to understand her and the way she thinks.
You obviously have the stronger and more dominant role in this relationship. You’re obviously putting lots of pressure on her and that’s wrong. You shouldn’t be trying to change her; you should be helping her find her own way to truth.

There's really so much more that I have to say but I think I'm just going to leave it at that for now. 

If you see any truth at all in all the theories I presented up there I highly recommend you read ‘Personality Plus’ by Florence Littauer. It really helped me in understanding why me and my ex-boyfriend didn’t work out. We were so much the same but just so very different. But instead of accepting each other we tried to change one another into ourselves. This selfish act (which we both did without even noticing) destroyed our relationship and I lost my best friend in the process. 
Don’t let this happen to you.
Fight for your relationship while you still can=)

I feel like I know you by now. Damn these limitations on answers I still have SO MUCH to say. If you want you can contact me 00marika@gmail.com
otherwise, I really hope that you found this helpful, and I hope you sort things out with your GF. You both sound like very interesting people

thanks for reading=)

? · Answer

Speaking as a 16 yr historic woman, I can appreciate wherein your female friend is coming from. She's on no account had a courting, so her wanting to take matters slowly is sensible. I do not individually believe both of you're within the flawed. You're definitely now not a pig. However, you do have to appreciate that a courting cannot paintings if you do not one hundred% admire every different. At her age, this predicament isn't anything she must have got to compromise on. If she's now not in a position, she's now not in a position, and there may be not anything you'll be able to do approximately that. If you're keen on her that so much, I propose you attempt to improve your courting in different non-bodily methods. Otherwise, might be it is time to appear for any individual new (probably your possess age) who does not brain relocating somewhat quicker bodily.

? · Answer

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/SubaT

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor. 

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it. 

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

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does my girlfriend have issues?

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