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Please help me to revise this English essay. Thank you?
Hi there,
I am writing this essay for my English class. I am having a hard time editing this paragraph. Please help me with. Thank you very much
For my birthday, he sent a beautiful gold neck less and pictures of Denver (where he was living) and other places he has visited. Two calls per week were not enough for me; I felt like I need to spend more time with him, I wish we could have talked once a day because our friendship was growing really nice. I was feeling love for him and constantly dreaming about him, I would pray to God every single day asking him to give a man like Wancy and we could make a beautiful family together. Although, I had other boyfriends and they were all different. Wancy was special and I love the way he would treat me, always calling me, always saying how much we liked me and somehow making plans for us and one day I would marry him.
2 Answers
- ?Lv 48 years agoFavorite Answer
"neck less" is spelled "necklace"
"I felt like I need to" --this would sound better as "I felt like I needed to"
him, I wish we could have --make this two sentences and use a period instead of a comma, the thought is too long the way you have it
"him, I would pray to " -- again, multiple sentences is better than hooking some together with a comma
"give a man like Wancy" better as "to give me..."
- ?Lv 45 years ago
Maybe you must say who the characters you recounted are. You must additionally suppose if men and women who under no circumstances watched the transformers had learn the essay, and what questions they could have that you just must reply. But I appreciated your essay.