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Please help me with my English Essay?

Hi there,

I am writing this essay for my English class. I am having a hard time editing this paragraph. Please help me with. Thank you very much

That night, we were kissing and touching all night long. It was amazing and incredible. Next day, we wanted to go out, get to know the city of Los Angeles and have a great time together. Next morning we left to Denver, Edgar was driving and Wancy and we were sitting in the back seats talking like birds that loved each other. When we got to Denver, he told me he was living with his uncle and until we got marry, I was going to be living with a friend of his.

2 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 4
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Again, make split your sentences.

    "Denver, Edgar was" -- make this two.

    "Wancy and we were" -- are there more than just he two of you? Because if there is only it would be "Wancy and I" not we

    " talking like birds that loved each other."-- just say "talking like lovebirds" Since lovebirds are a thing, this phrase is more concise and sounds less like rambling

    "got marry, " married, not marry. This is the second time this mistake has been made

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    I write officially while i write my essays, so sure and as i've an individual instructor in english she tells me to put in writing it officially so sure , i suppose you need to write it officially!

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