To have internet or not to have internet with sucky roommates?

Question

I share a one story apartment with a guy and a girl around my age. We have our own rooms and share a common area. I am in charge of the rent and responsible for the apartment as a whole. I answer directly to the owner and manage the small and big repair things that need to be done.

I have some simple disagreements with the roommates. They do absolutely nothing around the house, the common areas are always cluttered with their stuff and whenever we need to do something for the apartment, to make things a bit easier, and are not covered by the owner, they simply choose not to pitch in and let things just the way they are.

However, overall I would say we get along just fine. I swallow most of my opinions and do what I can for the apartment, without babying them or becoming their live in maid. 

When we came to live here, there was a one year contract with a cable and internet company that still had a few months to run. The three of us are avid internet users. We waste a lot of time on it and also depend on it for homework and work. I agreed to pay for the remainder months of the contract and told them that since I've been putting pretty penny on getting furniture, dishes and fixing stuff around the house we all use, and keep the house from falling apart in dirt, I thought it was fair that they renewed the contract for internet and cable. They both agreed.

Now that the bill is here and people are harassing me to pay, they decided to change their mind and cancel everything. I am annoyed to say the least. I told them that we would still have to pay what we owe them. They quickly said that they have no money. I'm screwed, because the contract is under my name, it was transferred from the previous leaser onto me when I moved. Whatever, I am paying and cancelling.

However, to be perfectly honest, I really want to have internet access at home. I need it and I guess I could move my budget around a little bit to have a very basic broadband connection. The thing is that I don't think its fair. Just like everything else they didn't want to pay for, I ended up getting it and now that its here, they use it.

Normally, I don't mind. I like to share with people and I am not territorial with "stuff". However, today I am officially pissed off.

I want to have internet, but I don't want to get it just for them to use it without paying. Experience has taught me that the minute I ask them to contribute for a service they use, they will say "never mind, just cancel it". 

I don't know what to do. I hate to be this petty and materialistic, but I may be so angry with my roommates that I will effectively shoot myself on the foot, forgo the internet service that I actually want to have, just so they don't have it too. 

On a scale from one to five, how irrational am I being? Is the best thing to do just suck it up, pay up and accept that my roommates are leaches?

Lark · Accepted Answer

Peeling off leaches is an act of self-defense and integrity. You've been honest, fair, responsible, and reliable, and your frustration at their perpetual slothfulness and freeloading is natural and healthy. I'd be more concerned about you if you just allowed freeloaders to ride on your back throughout life. Doing so would just make you bitter and resentful, and it'd be a mismanagement of your money, energy, and time. Your kindness and generosity have been taken advantage of, and will continue to be trespassed on until you disallow it. You can be diplomatically assertive and defend yourself from being used in a way that is gracious but firm. I second the recommendation to get a router for the internet and create a password for it. Make it one that will be difficult to crack. After you've set the internet up, explain to your roommates that you are happy to share the service with them if they'll equally split the cost with you. Reiterate that you're the same age and are facing similar budget constraints, so if you're going to be paying for the service on your own then you're going to downgrade it to a less expensive monthly plan (hopefully one is available) and password-protect the service. Offer to keep the existing plan and to share the password if they are willing to pay their equal share of the costs. Explain that every month you'll change the password, and you will provide it to them when they have paid you. If you receive an online bill, forward it to them, and if it's on paper, print it up so they'll see precisely how much is being charged per month. State that you understand that they have other expenses to consider, and that if they don't want to opt in, that's fine. If they would prefer to get a service in their own name, that's their right. 

Your roommates might scoff, balk, roll their eyes or make snarky comments, but if they do, let that roll off your back without getting testy or harboring resentment. They'd just be having the young adult equivalent of a tantrum. As with a child having a fit and shouting out hate, you shouldn't concede just to quiet and please them and make them be nice to you again. Doing so only establishes a pattern of them acting out to get what they want without having earned it because they know you'd rather simply cave in than deal with them. I doubt they will hate you, but if they do, that's their problem, not yours. Eventually, either you or someone else will teach them that it's egotistical and unethical to not do your share of the work or pay your share of the bill and expect to have all the niceties and amenities of those who did work and did pay. They are the ones being irrational, not you. 

Also, in a way that isn't patronizing or passive aggressive ask them to please start doing more around the apartment to take care of the home that the three of you live in. Ask about setting up a fair schedule for rotating household chores, such as one person being in charge of taking out all the trash in every room for one week, another person being in charge of all floors (vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, ect. once per week or as needed) and one being in charge of everything above the floor like dusting and cleaning off the countertops in the common areas. I live in a suite at my college where there are three girls sharing one bathroom and one small common area, and we just have a small dry erase board on the side of the fridge that we use to keep track of who is responsible for what that week. We also made it a rule that we pick up after ourselves, immediately, in common areas. None of us care if the other's room is a mess; it's only the shared areas that need to be neat and clean. It's just about having respect for one another and common courtesy. 

I hope everything works out!

~ skylark : )

Cat Lover · Answer

You get along fine, but yet you say they do nothing around the apt to keep it looking okay?   Why are you letting them walk all over you?  You say you are a coward.  Well, it's time you grow up and start sticking up for yourself.  

Have a meeting and tell these slobs that they are going to have to start doing their share around the apt.   If they are old enough to live on their own, they are old enough to accept the responsibility.  And tell them if they want internet, they will have to share the cost, otherwise you will have to choose a password and they won't be included.   

You don't want them to hate you?  Well, they are laughing at you behind your back because they are using you, and you are being foolish to let them.  

Frankly, I wouldn't want to live with people like this who have absolutely no respect for you.  Can you give them notice to move?   I would do that and next time get things in writing as to what each person's duties are.

? · Answer

You could always get a new contract, and keep the router/passwords/etc. for yourself.  If they want access, they cough up the cash.  No payment = new password = no internet for them.

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To have internet or not to have internet with sucky roommates?

3 Answers