Can someone read my short essay about effects of time on women's life and tell me their opinion?

Question

Can you tell me your opinion about my paragraph and tell me if it needs any amendment :)
ok so here it is

Time has a lot of effects on women's and how they act. 
And how did time change their personality, interest and their life. 

In the 20s man has a lot of choices in jobs he can do whatever he wants. Unlike woman who does not have that much choices. She can just be a homemaker, a cooker or a tailor, and all of that is because in the 20s they did not have that interest in education all what matters is the physical force it is enough to know who to read and write. They needed men who can build houses, made doors, windows and furniture and a lot of things that needed a strong body. So, you can imagine how their lifestyle was. It was hard but so simple at the same time, the man was the one who was responsible for collecting the money, and the woman was the one who was responsible for raising the children. But when the family was so poor the woman had to help her husband by working with him as a cooker or a tailor. 

In nowadays with all that have been changed with the technology and machines they do not need the body power; they already have the power and speed. now, they want the brain so, they focus on education. And since they do not want the body power, that helped women in having more choices in work. Technology did not just change the daily work for men and women only, it even changes their lifestyle.

annie42 · Accepted Answer

The passing of time has a lot of effects on women and how they act. It is interesting to look at how time may have changed their personality, interests, and their lives. In the 1920s, men had a lot of choices in regards to the job he could do; he could do whatever he wanted to. Women did not have that many choices. She could be a homemaker, a cook, or a tailor; women were seen as not needing an advanced education. She needed to learn to read and write and that was about it. Jobs hired men to do heavy work...building houses, making doors, windows and furniture, and a lot of other things that needed a strong body. So, you can imagine what their lifestyle was like. It was hard but so simple at the same time; the man was responsible for collecting the money and the woman was the one who was responsible for raising the children. Unless they were poor and then the woman had to help her husband by working with him as a cook or a tailor.   
          Nowadays, with all that has changed by technology and machines they do not need the body power.  They already had the power and the speed. Now, they want the brain, so they focus on education more.  And since they do not want the body power, that helped  women in having more choices to work.  Technology did not just change the daily work for men and women, it even changed their lifestyles.

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Anonymous · Answer

Could use some car chases and there is no sex or violence in it. Also a couple of jokes would be good. What it really needs though is a hero. Every good story has a hero and some sort of task to overcome that challenges him to the limit but ultimately leaves him (or her) a better person for it. It's a good start though. Perhaps the hero is on the beach somewhere? Keep at it good stuff, needs more explosions and girls in bikinis. Perhaps you could lift the whole tone of it by setting it in summer. That way you would be able to avoid all the cold, depressing imagery. Also there should be a girl called "Cody" in it somewhere.

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Can someone read my short essay about effects of time on women's life and tell me their opinion?

2 Answers