Don't you think Indian marriage system of arranged marriage should be abolished ?

I believe marriage always runs a risk, whether the partner is chosen by parents and family or through a love affair and no system is able to eliminate the risk.... even when the lovers have known each other for more than a year, the whole equation seems to change the moment the relationship is firmed up through marriage. The point is that two adults who have been born to different couples and brought up in different ambiance and circumstances, are bound to have divergent views and marriage and living together brings these differences into focus, leading to an uncomfortable need for both to change in order to fit.... this process is quite tough to handle especially when both have own ego and sincerity towards own set of values. Most people believe that knowing each other for quite some time makes them prepared for what to expect, but unfortunately it doesn't work like that... while in love, we are blinded by emotion and goodwill towards each other which prevents us from clearly seeing the drawbacks and differences and therefore later on they become even more oppressive as one is not prepared for them to come up like that.

Success of marriage really depends on how the couple takes and treats each other after starting to live together sharing all goals and the entire life.... in most cases the culprit is ego clash.

Nevertheless, there are other reasons why the Indian style of arranged marriages really suck.... for instance the unnecessary extravaganza, dowry etc.

There are a lot of things in life that can not be made understood to others. Marriage and married life do not depend merely on two persons - a girl and a boy, but also the social support, i.e., parents, neighbours, government authorities, and even the future of children. As long as marriage is for the production of next generation, one need all these.

In respect of a girl, her future should be taken care of parents as long as parents are alive. It is the natural affection and tendency. There are innumerable hurdles in married life, which can not be faced one or two persons alone, which soever the world.

After relationship is based on the matching of opinions in every matters connected to life. Even if one claims that the span of life can not be expected. expectations are keep us alive, and unless expectations are in mind, life is a zero - "for whom, for what, why one (first person) should live" is the question leads one to live or suicide.

In Indian astrology, there is a theory to find out the matching of 16 points and so far those who match all these 16 (though rare) have lead the most successful life (without seeking fame).

An unmarried person can never understand the practical side of married life. The enjoyments of married life would long merely for one or two years and then the practical life comes. Thereafter the aging and when become old, having no property, no income, and a stage of starving comes, then everyone would look back and either curse the disobedience of parents or own follies that lead to such a stage. Of-course, there is a reason for good and bad luck, which is still unknown to anyone. As long as a loving and affectionate parents are there, let them decide such matter,

(if not praise the Lord).

The best way out is that the boy & his family should be first selected by your parents. They should finalize 2 or 3 families. Then you ( both) should be given a chance to know each other. Thus after meeting all the 2/3 guys you have the final power to reject or accept any one of them. Many families are doing this. It is not either a love marriage or arranged marriage. It is some thing in between where the girl & the boy get a chance to know about their future partner.

Forced marriages? Yes

Arranged marriages where everyone agrees? No

There are much more messed up things going on in this world which are legal... This issue pales in comparison.

I am sure you have seen all the "love marriage" statistics... Most countries which only "do" love marriages have almost or more than a 50% divorce rate.

So it doesn't look like either love or arranged marriages are that good.

I am sure it happens in a LOT of countries still... not just India.

Historically, any union of man and woman that was not initiated by a woman's preference, will, or judgment has a better chance of being successful. Actually this goes for anything in life. If a woman is in charge you can count on either failure or hardship. Arranged marriages are just fine, as long as a female had nothing to do with the arranging. It is almost like the rape laws. Do we really need those? Men should settle amonst themselves who they will sleep with. Women just mess everything up.

culture is ok

dowry is strange. http://marriage.knoji.com/dowry-system-in-indian-s... it's the main reason why girls have to suffer many different ways. this should be abolished. parents should come with a good support if they want 50/50 from both sides.

arrange marriage should only be optional - not compulsory. meaning - kids should have the final say. forced marriage should become illegal. parents should have their say too for the sake of family relationship and the sake of culture.

i think it should be about the rights of women that marriage should be for love than property. both sides should commit for the kids marriage to be joyful and lasting. it should be cooperation between two families. parents should be supportive.

i still disagree with the idea that the girl must go and live with her husband. this is not right either. but i think it was intended to support the girl; however, it's been not - not as it was intended.

i think you should know best that how the whole system of marriage needs to be reformed.

http://www.causes.com/causes/74219-the-50-million-...

And should be replaced by what?

Indian society has come to a point where girls are free to reject parents' choice. Girls approval is sought before marrying her off...at least that's what educated parents do. The couple is given chance to get to know each other. They also run a check on family's background. I'm sorry if your parents are old-fashioned and forcing you into marrying someone without your approval.

Marriage has always been a Gamble. Even the so-called Love-marriages! Once harsh realities take over, scales begin to fall...in many cases.

i dont think it should be abolished . if you check the statistics, you will find out that indian arranged marriages sustain longer than western love marriages. you may think what the parents are looking at is money , but your parents want what is best for you, so they choose a spouse from a family that they think is best for you ! marriage is not the union of 2 people it is also union of two families !

I think all marriage should be abolished. It began as a way of selling your daughter to some guy or uniting feuding families. Today that ceremony is nice and all, but what is the point of our legal system getting involved?

Hi Sweet Pinki... I fail to comprehend any Nation State or society that ALLOWS arranged marriages to happen. Why does India enable this practice ??? To what purpose ??

Regards... Haemish