What would you do about your mom?

Question

My mom is the type of person who bends over backwards for other people and won't take no for an answer but has a self deprecating personality and doesn't feel worthy of anyone else's help.  She hasn't been feeling good so I have tried to get her to let me bring some food or clean her house or get groceries but she wont let me so I sent her some flowers instead and she texted me saying "Thanks for the beautiful flowers.  I don't deserve them."  I'm so sick of this attitude.  She's been like this my whole life.  Some of it rubbed off on me but I dont want it rubbing off on my kids.  I'm tempted to tell her she can't see my kids until she gets the mental health she needs.  Why won't she let me help her?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

NO !  Don't stop her seeing her grandchildren as this will make her worse.

Very difficult to help someone who wishes to be independent, as they see it as a loss of pride, and the ability to look after themselves.   Obviously from your Moms response, she is very depressed and in need of practical help.  Getting through to her how you see things, and what she is missing by not allowing you to help her, can be a long process.
Try spelling out to her how you worry about her welfare, and how things could be so much easier if she could swallow a little bit of her pride.

Good luck.

Fahim · Answer

She should better consult a psychologist, perhaps this maybe happened due to those circumstances which showed her down and maybe that time she had no one to support her if you think you have tried you best and it didn't work then you should rather take her to One of those.

mJc · Answer

Because you can't help her.  You should, of course, get counseling just to make sure you don't pass on her habits.  But don't keep her grandchildren from her.

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What would you do about your mom?

3 Answers