What do you think about single mothers who go to college?

Question

Here's the deal:
 I am a single mom and I go to school, I also work 40 hours a week. I'm trying to gage what society thinks about people like me. I feel like I'm doing the right thing by getting an education, some of my family members have condemned me for not being there for my kids, and this makes me a neglectful and selfish mother. I have to admit that I do not see my children nearly as often as I like, and I do feel guilty for missing a lot, and not being able to nurture them like I want. I also feel though like our standard of living will never be better, and they will never have better opportunities unless I get an education, so to me I guess It's not a black and white issue but varying shades of gray. So am I a monster for putting my kids through this, or am i good mom with the future in mind?

LizB · Accepted Answer

I think you're being a mature adult and doing what you need to do to secure your children's future. Yes, they need their mom... but they also need food and clothes and a place to live, and braces and cars and college tuition later on. They also need their mother to be able to take care of herself later on so she doesn't become a financial burden to them in her old age, which may mean making some short-term sacrifices for long-term gains. It sucks to be in that situation, but sometimes being a grown-up means making sacrifices and hard choices.

My best friend has been in the exact same situation you're in now, and she has struggled with all the same emotions. She's lucky that her parents have played a huge role in her son's upbringing, so he's had all the benefits of a stable, loving home even though his mom couldn't always be home with him. She's struggled financial since before he was born, but now she's in her last semester of PA school and will make a GREAT salary once she starts working, more than enough to support herself and her son. She's had a hard time and been through more than her fair share of difficulties, but I'm so, so incredibly proud of her. I think that someday when her son is old enough to understand, he'll admire his mom for being so strong and working so hard to give him a good life. Maybe you're not the type of mom to do Scouts and bake sales and PTA, but I think that someday your kids will be proud of you, too. There's more than one way to be a great mom!

Anonymous · Answer

I think I've answered this question twice now and my answer has yet to change.

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What do you think about single mothers who go to college?

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