My Boyfriend of 3 years moved out and he asked for both of us to take time to re-evaluate our Relationship?

Question

My boyfriend and I started going and I fell in love with him immediately. 
After going out for 3 moths he told me he was going to jail for transporting a vehicle with two illegal immigrants. With no other prior felonies he got 6 months. Through all this time I stayed with him. 
Nobody in his family wanted to go visit him and don't get a bad impression of him. He is kind hearted lovable..his family is just all wrong. He had a rough childhood, his parents abandoned him and his tow younger siblings. His mom eventually left them too..to later come back in to their adult life's.

Anyways..moving forward during the whole tim he was in jail, I sent money, bought food, called his families to let them know he was fine. Convinced Families to go with him to visit him, etc. During his time in jail was hard he even suffer from anxieties inside ..I would accept calls to my cell phone twice a day so he wouldn't feel alone. He told me he was ready for commitment and marriage, and family.

He came out and it was another story. I know ur not surprise. Now I know that when there in jail they will say about anything to keep you helping them. 

He finally came out he wanted to party no commitment. I reminded him his promises.. eventually he gave in.  He would be with me almost all the time..we open a business together graphics and wed design..social media, etc. At the moment he was living with his aunt..he got kicked out for spending so much time with me. So I told him to move in. 

He did..did I forgot to tell you he cheated on me with his ex? The first year..he kept in contact with her up to the second year. He will badmouth me to his friends..his friends would tell him he could do better (I'm divorced, 38 yrs old -his 35- and with two daughters-he doesn't have any kids).

I'm hard working, cleaned, love to cook and I have a degree (Business Administration diploma from UABC). He didn't finish High school..but he learned Graphics designs and he does a excellent designs.

TRUST ISSUES...since he lied and badmouth me with families and friends who got a bad impression of me, he cheated on me and only said "he was sorry" but I resentful...we begin to fight often and every time it would get uglier. Cops would come and give us warning. Even though now he wasn't doing anything I just could trust him. Because he had issues committing to me. He could even talk about having a baby together. He would say that i had a bad temper and ugly way of being. How could he after I showed him my love and I was kind to his relatives ..I think he forgot :'(

Last time we had a fight was this Christmas eve and his sister was here so was my dad and others at our place. He Left me took everything and moved in with his sister. His sister has a lil girl that I would baby sit. She is filthy and illiterate and I'm very hurt that after I did a lot for her daughter she seems very ungrateful.

So my boyfriend now keeps telling me he cant go back to me until I change my attitude. That we both need to re-evaluate our relationship. But he keeps contacting me because we got the business and I get confused..Im thinking if it wasnt for the business he would contact me at all. 

What does it mean?? 
Any hopes here? What to do.

Tina · Accepted Answer

What I can't understand is you asking if there's any hope. Why do you want to be with a man that lied and bad mouth you to his family? Why would you want to be with a man that cheated on you and does not want to commit to you? Why would you want to be with a man that you cannot trust? This is ridiculous. You think that the only reason why he's contacting you is because of the business. And now he's telling you that he can't go back to you until you change your attitude. It's not bad enough that he lied and bad mouth  you to his family and now he blames you and tells you that the reason he can't be with you is because you have an attitude problem. Do you really want to past the rest of your life with a man that mistreats you and disrespects you and blame's you for the problem that you are having in your relationship? Your boyfriend is a user and he's nothing but scum. He used you when he was in jail. He stayed with you because you opened a business together. and now it's not hard to see that he wants out of the relationship. And the easiest way for him to end the relationship without losing the business is for him to say that you are the problem why it's not working. The only thing that I can tell you is if you stay in that relationship then you are a fool. He will continue to bad mouth you to his family. He will continue to use you. And he will continue to cheat on you. You need to walk away from your boyfriend. You need to be with a man that loves you and respects you. You will never get that from your boyfriend. You are only 38 so, you still have a chance to make a better life for yourself.

warneal69 · Answer

I just LOVE it when a person post a question with LOTS of detail.

It makes answering it SOOOOO much simpler.

This guy is doing you a favor by breaking up with you.   I know, it doesn't feel like it, but it is.  He said you have a temper and a "ugly way of being", which I get the feeling you purposely left out telling us about.   Which is ok.  We don't need to know about that part.

Lets just stick to the parts you told us about.  Seeing people who lie, break the law and make promises that they have no intention of keeping are NOT worth dating.

No matter how much you think you love him.

Oh, one other thing.   Your 38 years old.  I believe its high time you started acting like it.

David · Answer

Sorry to hear about all that. He is clearly being to stuck up to realize his own problems, so instead he points the finger at you. He is being ungrateful as well. And the fact that he bad mouths you, well that's just wrong in general. 

I highly doubt there is much hope unless you give in and do everything he demands (which is not a good idea). 
Sorry to say this, and I am sure it is tough to see, but I think you should move on.

Anonymous · Answer

we both are in same boat dear. wish i can give you tight hug. i feel so sorry about you dear. i was really in love with a women for 4-1/2 years. she left me without even any reason. no i feel so lonely and so down and depressed. i do not know why does the did it with me. 
anyway, life is very serious. we have to go on in our life. God always have plans in our life. 

i think, he does have a new relationship and moving from you. i think, he don't want to be with you and he don't love you anymore. he just moved from your with a nice reason. take care and God bless you dear.

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My Boyfriend of 3 years moved out and he asked for both of us to take time to re-evaluate our Relationship?

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