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Having a hard time with my sisters pregnancy?
So my sister just told my husband and I that she is pregnant. I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way because I am honestly beyond excited for her. But about two weeks before she told us my husband and I found out we couldn't have a baby and I'm just going to be honest I am having a very hard time with this.
It's been about three months now and I thought that I would be able to cope better but it seems to be getting worse. I mean right now I can't even hold a baby I just start crying. So I've just been avoiding them all together. My sister asked me if I would be her lamaze coach and I honestly don't know what I should do. I don't want to be this huge chasm of depression around her during this super happy time in her life. I'm her big sister I'm suppose to be her anchor and she needs me right now! I keep hoping that I'm going to buck up and get over this but it hasn't happened yet. I really want to be there for my sister right now but I just don't know that I can be.
My family doesn't know yet that my husband and I can't have a child. I just don't feel like this is the time to tell them and I really really don't want to talk about it at all yet. My husband and I are slowly proceeding to the adoption route and we just finished signing up for foster care (which we started doing before we found out we couldn't have a child). I don't know what to do any advice would be great!
I'm a processor I don't like to talk about things until I have processed them out sometimes it can take a while. If I am forced to do this before I am ready it won't be good for me. It would be more like someone smashing on my chest then a burden being lifted. I am not ready to talk about it with anyone. I have to talk about it with my husband and that makes me uncomfortable enough. I don't want to deal with my mothers, sisters and grandmothers emotions about this right now. I'm super lucky that although my sister is the sweetest person ever she is also a little self absorbed and so far hasn't caught on to my being 'off'.
2 Answers
- Anonymous8 years ago
I don't blame you at all it must be so hard for you to see your sister pregnant! Id say now is the right time to tell your family it will feel like a weight has been lifted ! And then also your sister will know why you might act off with her one day , im sure your family would be very supportive and it might be good to have someone to talk too through the adoption , I wish you all the best stay strong and try to be supportive towards your sister because it is not her falut !
- Jordin KLv 58 years ago
It is okay to feel this way. There's nothing wrong, as your sister is able to do something that you aren't. But you really need to deal with it and talk to your family about it. It's not that you failed or anything, sometimes our healthy reacts in ways that we can't understand or know why. And I do feel for you. I am sorry that you can't have a child. But there's always ways to adopt and such. And you will learn to be happy for your sister. But I understand your feelings.