How do I help a girl, who has been hurt before?

Question

I am such a fool, when I first saw this girl. I knew that something was different, something special. She was beyond beautiful, a little strange, but I enjoyed her awkwardness. The only one who was nice to her. She was new at my work, immediately everyone hated her, for reason they would not share. I liked her, I thought she was stunning. I heard rumors that she liked me too, I just assumed she was really shy. One girl who really hated her, told me that I am the only person who is nice to her. She asked me why, as if I am the bad guy. So this girl is picked on a lot. I wanted to protect her. All these girl at work wanted my attention, but I gave it to her, and her alone. They grew mad and hated me. But I asked her out. We went out and it was great. Though of late it has been distant between us. I finally asked her out again she said yes. Then a few hours later, she tells me, she has been hurt and judged before, that she only needs a good friends, nothing more. As sad as I was, and my heart pounding knowing that it is over between us. I replied, I understand and would rather have her as a good friend then nothing else, and that I will never judge her. She truly is a sad soul that I have laid eyes upon, I wish to help. She replied You don't know how happy I am to hear that. Though after all of it, after all the warm comments back and forth. I feel so depressed, not because she wants me as a friend more than a boyfriend, she says she does not want to mess things up. So I am mad at the fact that people continue to hurt her. Also I don't know how to help her.

Update:

I don't know who that one person is, that answered, calling me Max, my Name is Ray, you got the wrong person. So I reported your message, to get it erased. Also Em your response is helpful. Also I might be hanging out with her this weekend. She quit work, too stressful, she says, though she won't tell me more.

? · Accepted Answer

People are judgmental and heartless. The girl you described sounds a lot like me--nice, a little strange, kind of awkward, and people always comment on how pretty I am (even though I personally don't see myself that way). Everyone treats me differently. I'm very open and friendly and I talk to everyone, but I still have trouble making friends. I get the vibe from a lot of people that suggests they don't like me, and it's mostly from other girls. Trust me, if you stand up for her, respect her, and continue being her friend and maybe try to include her in social events, she will be eternally grateful and may even fall for you eventually.

And if your girl is as beautiful as you say she is, the other girls may just be basing their "hatred" on how intimidated the are by her beauty. If that's all the more reason they have for treating her poorly, then she's better off without them as her "friends".

Dare · Answer

Well first off, what you can do is get both sides of the story. Get someone alone and ask what all the fuss is about. After that, ask the girl if she's okay with telling you why she things she attracts such negative feedback. If she doesn't want to talk about it, all you can do is leave it alone. Regardless of what the deal is, you can't judge her or interrogate her or she will shut down and you'll lose her. The safest way to help her is to defend her when you hear the down talk by saying something unbiased like "Hey, that's really hurting her. She doesn't like being judged anymore than you would." but 
DO NOT get into a huge argument. As for your depression, that is because you are focusing so hard on her problem that her pain becomes your pain. You're being a wonderful friend by sticking by her side, but you have to keep yourself in tact mentally in order to help someone else along. If you're in a depression, that is literally like the blind leading the blind.

the color blue · Answer

You help her by holding her in your arms if she's crying or sad, if girls are being mean to her, defend her tell them off, and if it's boys being mean to her beat the hell out of them, just do anything you can to make her feel safe

? · Answer

Sounds to me like your doing a great job at it so far.

~*~Robyn~*~ · Answer

Stand up for her and support her when she needs it thats all you can do.

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How do I help a girl, who has been hurt before?

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