Painful thought? Please read all of it, it is long but important and heartfelt.?

This is going to sound strange, and it's very unusual for a 21 year old guy to think this way. But it's a powerful thought. I'm a virgin, and whenever the girl I'm trying to get to know better tells me that she is not a virgin like me, it hurts my heart like fire. The thought that I am not her first hurts me so badly that I tear up. I don't want to share the girl I love for life with anyone. I love her and her alone, so it's not fair that she has shared her body with another guy. I want all of her, heart soul and body. Rape is an exception obviously, as far as I'm concerned she is still a virgin in that case. In fact, that's how I have to rationalize it to avoid my heart being crushed. I love her, she loves me. No other guy is tolerable. Not even in memory or thought. If she tries to tell me she loved him, I have to call it deception and manipulation. I am not capable of accepting the thought that any other guy ever loved her before me. I've tried just not asking the woman if she is still a virgin, but if I don't ask the fear claws away at my mind until I put it to rest by asking. I know finding a pure woman at my age is nearly impossible, but if the girl isn't pure, when I get to that stage in our relationship it's going to rip me apart. I'd have to lay there and stare at the ceiling for a long time before I got the nerve to go through with that. What if some of the guy's skin cells are still alive or intact inside her, or God forbid sperm? That would shatter my mind like glass and traumatize me. If the guy's DNA has been obliterated by the vaginal acids it would be more bearable. It would be mortifying for my body to touch that. My DNA touching the traces of genetic material from a worthless denizen of the male race. Disgusting. Even if the guy was dead, it wouldn't be enough for me. That inferior DNA cannot be there. It must be erased and wiped from existence before I can touch her there. You could say I believe in condom virginity, as long as no traces of the guy's DNA remain, and he had no real contact with her, she is still pure. Not one single atom of it can be left. The content of her body must be 100% genetically hers. By the way, to me sex is a life-bindng act. I can't leave her after that, ever. It's as good as a marriage vow to me. To me, it is the ultimate gift a person can give, and it must be respected as such. So I have the choice of either dropping that standard and settling for something that will make my stomach turn when I actually have to face it, or keeping it and facing a life where I may never find anyone and live alone. And that is my worst fear. Living alone for life can blow a romantic guy's mind apart and drive him literally insane. I'm trapped. Cornered by painful realization that hurts and is too important to ignore, and is equally stressing to confront. How can I stop these thoughts? By the way, I've recieved dozens of sarcastic and smart aleck answers, and this isn't a joke. I need serious answers here. If you aren't going to answer seriously, don't bother.This really bothers me and I need to know how to stop this mental war in my head. In advance, thank you for your time.